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Re: Thinking about organizing a special women-oriented event

2009/8/25  <binz75015@free.fr>:
> Now I understand better the "joke" from holger. It is absolutely unacceptable.

I think I may be digging my grave here, but the remark came from me,
not Holger. I don't know if "Holger" is typically a male or female
name either, but at any rate, Holger had nothing to do with it.

I'm going to try to soften the blow of my remark (I didn't even
consider it a joke either), but I'm not sure I'll be able to do so
properly. I am also trying to shut up as much as I can over that
comment, since I *really* don't want to drag the discussion too far
afield from the conference, nor to make excessive noise to distract
away from the topic at hand: that the conference may take place.

I think my comment was taken to insinuate that a woman whose feminity
was cast in doubt isn't a woman. Let me try to explain where I'm
coming from: I don't like to be excluded any more than you do. I know
that sometimes I need to be excluded, and I try to understand it, but
I still don't like it.

When the suggestion started drifting towards an exclusionary event,
even though I understand the necessity of it, it still triggers a
response in me of distaste. And yes, I apologise for how I expressed
my distaste for an exclusionary event. It was a gut reaction, and it
was wrong of me.

I consider myself to exhibit some feminine traits, even though I'm
predominantly masculine, whatever you may take "masculine" and
"feminine" to mean; I think I have a bit of both, and so does almost
everyone else. By bringing up Semenya's recently publicised treatment
here, I was trying to highlight the difficulty of being exclusionary
based on gender traits. I would have liked in principle to attend the
conference, if only from the sidelines as I try to do on this mailing
list, mostly as an observer except now, and I felt that this was a
privilege I was about to lose.

Again, this is just a gut reaction from me. I didn't express myself
properly, and I'm trying to do so now. I am trying to not sound
aggressive, or menacing, or overly combative/argumentative, and I'm
trying to tone down what I perceive to be my "masculine" traits.

I can sit down and rationalise why exclusion is important. If nothing
else, to compensate for centuries of an overwhelming exclusion in the
other direction. However, my gut doesn't always immediately remember
the centuries of exclusion in favour that its male ancestors have
perpetrated on others, and when that happens, it doesn't like it and
tries to bring up a recent social situation where sex-based exclusion
is turning out to be a big fiasco and ultimately futile.

I'm rambling... but I really hope I managed to offend a little less
this time... and I hope I didn't make it worse.

- Jordi G. H.

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