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Re: lacie-uboot : Please review the description



On Tue, Nov 20, 2012 at 11:57 PM, Justin B Rye <jbr@edlug.org.uk> wrote:
> Christian PERRIER wrote:
>> Quoting Justin B Rye (jbr@edlug.org.uk):
>>> Package: lacie-uboot
>>> Architecture: all
>>> Depends: ${shlibs:Depends}
>>> Recommends: sometfpd
>>> Description: LaCie U-Boot netconsole shell
>>>  LaCie network storage products offer a U-Boot netconsole, which can
>>>  be accessed using the tools provided in this package:
>>>   * lacie-uboot-shell - a simple interactive client which can connect
>>>     to the U-Boot netconsole using only a network cable;
>>>   * lacie-nas-updater - a script to update your product bootloader
>>>     or firmware using lacie-uboot-shell (requires a TFTP server).
>>
>> Only one comment: s/your/somethingelse ?
Well spotted !
>
> Yes, and now you draw my attention to it the phrase "your product
> bootloader or firmware" is a bit odd anyway.  And perhaps there should
> be an "inline expansion" of NAS somewhere in there.
True, NAS is not a common contraction yet.
>
>  LaCie Network-Attached Storage products offer a U-Boot netconsole, which
>  can be accessed using the tools provided in this package:
>   * lacie-uboot-shell - a simple interactive client which can connect
>     to the U-Boot netconsole using only a network cable;
>   * lacie-nas-updater - a script to update the device's bootloader or
>     firmware using lacie-uboot-shell (requires a TFTP server).
>
What about "a device's" instead of "the device's" ?
> --
> JBR     with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
>         sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package


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