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Re: Request for English debconf template review



Steve Langasek <vorlon@debian.org> wrote:
> [Please respect M-F-T on replies, I'm not subscribed to this list.]

[Please follow the lists code.  I'm using a normal mailer.]

[...]
>  + Most services that use Pluggable Authentication Modules need to
>  + be restarted to use modules built for this new version of libpam. 
>
> If the user doesn't figure out that Pluggable Authentication Modules == PAM,
> I don't see any reason to waste the space explaining it. :)

Debatable, but I think that seems a bit arrogant.
http://www.chicagomanualofstyle.org/CMS_FAQ/Abbreviations/Abbreviations09.html
It only adds 5 characters.  Maybe should lose the leading caps too.
http://www.chicagomanualofstyle.org/CMS_FAQ/Abbreviations/Abbreviations01.html

> > + The following list of services were detected as running now [...]
>
> Hmm, inaccurate; we do no checking of whether the services are running, we
> are only detecting whether the services are installed and we use invoke-rc.d
> to handle the rest.

OK, that was me misunderstanding the original!

> But perhaps:
>
>   Please check the following list of init.d scripts for services to restart,
>   and correct it if needed.  The script names must be separated by spaces.
>   To avoid restarting any services at this time, use an empty list.
>
> ?

Seems fine to me.

> BTW, "empty the list" is misleading with the debconf readline frontend,

OK.  The inconsistencies of the frontends makes templates fun.

[...]
> > - Among the services that require restarting are the display managers kdm,
[...]
>
> Stylistically, I prefer my original again. :)  But thanks for the
> suggestions.

My main motive was I don't like the roundabout of "Among the services..."
I'd even prefer "Services that require restarting include..."

At least, the original should lose the commas in front of "and" in lists
http://www.bartleby.com/141/strunk.html#2
and pick either "that service" or "this service" at the end.

Hope that helps,
-- 
MJ Ray - see/vidu http://mjr.towers.org.uk/email.html
Experienced webmaster-developers for hire http://www.ttllp.co.uk/
Also: statistician, sysadmin, online shop builder, workers co-op.
Writing on koha, debian, sat TV, Kewstoke http://mjr.towers.org.uk/



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