Re: On what is helpful and what is not [was: Re: Wifi]
Note: My use of you/your etc is plural, singling out no individual
Note: To everyone. Don your Kevlar and CBRN suits ;)
I've been avoiding engaging this juvenile nonsense, but given some of
you whiny thin skinned PC police simply will not drop this bone,
apparently it's up to me to lay down the law.
I'm blunt, I'm curt, I'm brash, I'm confident. I often ruffle the
feathers of thin skinned users, mostly new but on occasion old hands. I
make no apologies because I get things done for people on this list, and
on occasion am the only member here who can get them the information
they need, at the level of technical depth required. Constantly
worrying about the thickness of others' skin during the process is not
my responsibility, *especially* thin skinned whiny children who aren't
even the recipient of an incorrectly perceived insult.
Mission, project, task oriented people tend be singularly focused on the
matter at hand. We don't stand around the water cooler half the day
complimenting each other on our pretty new shoes and hairdos to boost
each others' self esteem. We practice tough love when needed, and we
don't coddle people. We enable them. We may be perceived as abrasive
or insulting because we are focused on the mission and not focused on
worrying about other people's fragile feelings. Their fragility is
their problem, not mine. Some might describe this as akin to a military
mindset, where emotions are expressly ignored, trained out of a person.
I am apparently the only person on this list who practices tough love,
and I'm not one bit shy about it. Posts like the OP's demand tough
love, otherwise people will EXPECT to be coddled every time they have a
problem.
I refuse coddle people. That's giving a heroin addict free heroin.
It's a disservice to them because it trains them to NOT learn and
perform problem solving on their own. The "give a man a fish or teach
him to fish" adage. It's a disservice to myself because it
unnecessarily wastes valuable time, just like the need to spank people
here for this childish behavior. If you want to coddle users, that's
your choice. I never complain about your style do I? Likewise, if I
choose to be blunt, brash, and practice tough love, which benefits
myself and the other user, no one has the right to complain about my
style.
But the fact is, many are complaining, whining like a bunch of children.
"Mommy! Mommy! The bully at school called another kid a nub!
Waaaaa-wa-wa-wa-wa!"
This is absolutely ridiculous behavior, and it's exactly what you've
been engaged in.
On 3/9/2014 7:15 PM, Dave Woyciesjes wrote:
...
> Really, calling the OP a "nub" ( whatever the hell he means by that)
> isn't an insult? And you think there was no condescending insulting tone
> overall?
Dave, every aspect of life exists in a context, not a vacuum. Re-read
this paragraph and explain how the context of my use of "nub" is an
intention to levy an insult, not simply use of the phonetic shorthand
for "newb".
On 3/8/2014 11:35 PM, Stan Hoeppner wrote:
"In fact, given he assumes everyone knows why he's punching the function
keys, it's pretty certain he's a nub. And that's fine. But we need to
know his knowledge level in order to best assist him."
Do you notice the sentence "And that's fine." directly after "nub"? And
the sentence directly after that? Is this the context of an insult?
Clearly not. If I was using "nub" as an insult, why would I immediately
qualify that with "And that's fine."? I wouldn't, and neither would
anyone else. The context here is clear. I am using "nub" as a general
description of knowledge level, and then stating we need to ascertain
where in that range his knowledge level is in order to tailor our responses.
The context of "nub" as an insult is simple: "You're a f--king nub!"
It's hard to miss the difference between the two contexts is it not? So
how on earth did you confuse the contexts? Tunnel vision bias?
I've been using the phonetic abbreviation "nub" for over 15 years. Just
because some urban dictionary, or some segment of the net populous
decided in the last 5 years, 8 years, etc, that this is not equivalent
to "newb", is categorically an insult, no matter who uses it, or in any
context, doesn't not make it so, just as I can declare red and blue are
now swapped, which doesn't make it so.
It's pretty damn sad that a 'certain' type of new users join this list,
and the first post they see from me is one of my rare tough love posts
such as in this thread. And even though said new users are not the
recipient of the comment, they nonetheless instantly overreact, blow
their top, and try to rally the list to tackle "the bully". What
thoughtful people do is create mail filters, without uttering a peep on
or off list.
I know I've been extremely vague, apologetic, and politically correct
here, keeping my opinions so close to the vest. So I apologize if it
has been difficult for you to decipher my cryptic comments.
Cheers,
--
Stan
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