[Date Prev][Date Next] [Thread Prev][Thread Next] [Date Index] [Thread Index]

Re: [DRAFT FOR REVIEW] Brazilian government owned IT enterprise SERPRO selects Debian GNU/Linux for its servers and wishes to collaborate

Hello, Jon
Many thanks for your suggestions.
The text evolved to an inverted pyramid style, target at government
decision makers, with many suggestions.
As its current form , it is very suitable for this.
There is enough "eye catching" at first paragraph.
The most important info is "top down".
And the "about" section with a few more interesting context details for
those who want them.
Many thanks.
Andre Felipe

Em Qua, 2008-09-03 às 17:54 +0100, Jon Evans escreveu:
> I spotted that your 'About SERPRO' section actually works quite well as an 
> introduction. It's a bit late I know but have a look, see what you think.
> Personally I think (3) works best.

Reply to: