Re: [DRAFT FOR REVIEW] Brazilian government owned IT enterprise SERPRO selects Debian GNU/Linux for its servers and wishes to collaborate

[Jon Evans <saeng2oo@googlemail.com>]

Hello Andre,

'to relax project controls which are too tight'

Why don't you just say, 'relax tight project controls.'?
Or even, 'relax strict project controls.'

The trouble with using 'is' is that 'controls' are plural so they really do 
need the 'are'. 
Unless you change it to:
'to relax project control which is too tight.'

'open' is redundant yes, 'available for' could stay.
'collaboration channel available for...'

Have you got the url for the draft to hand?
Jon

On Wednesday 03 September 2008 2:07:42 pm AndreMachado wrote:
> Hello,
> I have some doubts regarding british english:
>
> 2nd paragraph:
> ..."collaboration channel open available for"...
>
> Is not "open available" redundant?
>
>
> 3rd paragraph:
> ..."to relax project controls which are too tight."
>
> The suggestion was for relaxing "managing too tight"  attitutde for some
> of their floss initiatives.
> Could the sentence be "relax projects control wich is too tight"?
>
> What are the recommended formal british english styles for these?
>
> Regards.
> Andre Felipe Machado