Re: [DRAFT FOR REVIEW] Government owned IT enterprise SERPRO selected Debian GNU/Linux for its servers and wish to collaborate
On Saturday 30 August 2008 13:21:02 Andre Felipe Machado wrote:
> Hello,
> I heavily modified the draft [0], turned it more like an inverted
> pyramid, moved and trimmed text, less paragraphs, and invite for
> reviewing and improving it at british english language.
> The target audience is government agencies decision makers.
> Regards.
> Andre Felipe Machado
>
> [0]
> http://wiki.debian.org/Teams/Publicity/DebianTimesTeam/Drafts/SerproChoseDe
>bianAndCollaborate
I have made some changes which, I hope, improve the readability. Please check
that I haven't changed the meaning.
Some sentences are still too long but I don't have any more time at the
moment.
Graham
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