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Re: Suggested press release in reaction to RHAT dropping sparc and alpha



On Tue, Dec 24, 2002 at 01:15:04AM -0500, Jaldhar H. Vyas wrote:
> FYI, this is the final draft with the changes Colin and others suggested.
> it is now being sent to press@d.o and dwn@d.o for wider dissemination.
> 
> The Debian Project (http://www.debian.org/), producers of Debian
> GNU/Linux the premier Linux distribution created by the community for the
           ^
           you still need a comma here.

> community, reaffirmed today its' ongoing commitment to supporting Linux on
                              ^^^^
                              lose the apostrophe.  should read "its".

> the Sparc and Alpha architectures.
> 
> Sparc and Alpha users enjoy the same vast breadth of free software (some
> 10,000 packages in our stable distribution), bug fixes, and timely
> security updates as any other Debian users.  Debian, as an all volunteer
                                                       ^^
                                        strike this word?

> organization can afford to support any architecture for which there is
              ^
              comma here.

> sufficient community interest.  This promises a long healthy life for both
> our Alpha and Sparc binary distributions.
  ^^^

I don't think you should use "our" here ... press releases tend to
be written from a third person perspective.  Perhaps simply

  This promises a long and healthy life for the Alpha and Sparc binary
  distributions of Debian GNU/Linux.
 
> For more information on the many architectures Debian has been ported to,
> please see http://www.debian.org/ports

-- 
Nathan Norman - Incanus Networking mailto:nnorman@incanus.net
  People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of
  thought which they avoid.
          -- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard



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