This is mostly about perception. The guys need to have these
traits, too. They are just less likely to be told so. Why?
Because the typical situation for being told so is when you complain
about something. With Free Software, the answer to a complaint will
often be "that's not my itch, scratch it yourself". (translation:
Fix it yourself, or fix your attitude)
I think this situation is a little different. Both men and women have
to put up with "that's not my itch, scratch it yourself," whereas (in
general) only women have to put up with "will you fuck me?"