Although not Debian specific, there are Linux lists where "RTFM", and the attitudes which go along with it, are not the "norm" and are even not allowed. Yet, the people who answer questions are not "the blind leading the blind" as suggested. I know I'll get flamed for this response, but maybe it's time to grow up, boys.
Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day, and......the next day, he'll be back in the same place at the same time, waiting for you to give him *his* fish.
The last thing he's going to be interested in doing is to learn to fish, as this disqualifies him from free fish. You make a reference to growing up. How exactly is someone encouraged to grow up? In my opinion, neither by doing everything for them, nor by setting them impossible tasks. [Yes, I do have grown-up children].
Whether or not there is a distinction between those who are willing to try with a bit of encouragement, and those who can't be bothered to use a search engine, there is certainly a perceived difference. There's a big gap between asking ' how do I find out how to fix this problem?' and 'I'd like step-by-step instructions for fixing this problem?' It's the latter kind of request that generally gets the blunt RTFM, though even then the relevant man page is usually cited.
If an answer genuinely is obscure, sufficient clues are almost invariably offered. Only those who appear to believe they are owed whatever help they want get really short shrift. If it were a paid-for service, things would be completely different, but volunteers get to say no if they want to.
I agree, it *is* a male-female thing, and with much wider application than Linux. Further speculation would be well off-topic.
-- Joe