Monique Y. Herman wrote:
Sure, there are some quantifiable differences (and many that we could argue about till the cows come home); what I should have asked, and meant to ask, is, *how* would you treat women any differently than men? Especially when your only medium is the keyboard. I have trouble imagining a non-dating, non-pregnancy-related situation in which I would consider being treated differently than a man appropriate. And the only reason I'm considering the dating situation is because I believe you're hetero, and therefore you would certainly treat a woman differently than a man in that situation -- simply because you wouldn't be on a date with a man.
Ok, I hate to chime in on this note but this is something that has been bugging me as I've looked at portions of this coversation and especially in light of the incident from BSS/Gobble highlighted earlier on.
You ask here how someone could treat women differently than men in this medium. I have to ask, how do you know they're treating women differently then men?
Look at the example with BSS/Gooble that was cited. Ok, it was a crass message, that goes without saying. Question shouldn't be "Wow, do these jerks treat women bad or what?" but rather, "Wow, do they sit there and talk smack to each other?" They are two subtle questions. Neither excuses what they did but if the answer to the latter is that they do talk smack to one another they they are, as you seem to want by your question above, treating women as they would treat men.
See, I like to think that I don't treat women or men differently online. Most of my interaction isn't in a technical area; I'm more of an online gamer. I don't care what gender a person is, I treat them as they treat me and how others they associate treat them.
Let me give 3 examples to show what I mean.
Example #1: the MMORPG. Yeah, I play an MMORPG. I treat everyone
equally. Guy, gal, doesn't matter. They get respect and my honest opinion of
things. If I'm grouping with them I expect them to pull their weight. If
they don't I grouse about them equally. I'm there to play the game.
Example #2: the MMOFPS. The outfit I'm in has teamspeak. We've got one woman who plays all the time. She can smack around the enemy as good as anyone else. We're all aware that she's a woman because she doesn't let us forget it. I think it was summarized best by the one liner she popped off on why her squad was always full while the male run squads were often half empty. "I've got boobs." That wasn't the reason. She's a fast typer, she's on the ball, when people were looking for a squad she'd actually notice, drop what she's doing and invite them. People went to the first squad leader that invited them. So for the next little bit I ran with the joke she started. Every time one of the other squad leaders complained she got all the people looking for a squad I'd chime in "Hey, just go buy a pair of boobs, they work!"
Example #3: IT office. I was one of those office workers once upon a time. Had male and female counterparts; and no, it wasn't tech support it was back-end server work. Anyway, did I treat the women differently than the men? You bet'cha. I was polite and courtious to the women. To the guys I knew I could be crass to I was. Ended up being mostly the guys I played poker with after work on a weekly basis.
Two cases where women are treated equally. One where all were respected because that is what was expected. One where the woman was treated like "one of the guys" because that's where she wanted to be. One where women were treated better than the guys because, well, I dunno, maybe because they didn't play poker. I mean I play poker with my fiancee and we're as crass as we can be to one another at times.
So when asking "how can you treat women differently" remember that treating someone differently can, and often does, go both ways. That sometimes people being crass to women is because that's the culture their little clique operates in and it isn't /just/ because they're a woman. At the same time a lot of the politeness might also be because they're a woman.
Does that make the cited example right? Nope. But it doesn't make it sexist, either.
--
Steve C. Lamb | I'm your priest, I'm your shrink, I'm your
PGP Key: 8B6E99C5 | main connection to the switchboard of souls.
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