Re: debian and women? from DWN #10
Monique Y. Herman wrote:
I think you'd have to be incredibly smooth to pull off that "husband"
line without sounding like a jerk.
I wouldn't say it to a 20-year old girl; but a 35-year old who's beginning to question her fading youthful appeal or a 45-year old seems to brighten up on hearing it, if, as you say, it's done right. Just a quick comment, and then walk away, so the woman knows there's no "come on" or pick-up attempt.
Still, yes, I often suspect that it's going overboard.
On 2004-03-25, Kent West penned:
(http://www.marykay.com/njlove - shameless plug), and would love to
WTF is that mary kay site? Whatever it is, it refuses to let me in
because I'm using Firefox.
There's a link at the bottom that says something to the effect that "if
you're using some other browser than the two we support" (I've written
them to tell them that's lame, but who pays attention to me?) "you can
click on this link to continue anyway".
Outside of the dating scene and
maybe someone who is visibly pregnant, why would you treat women any
differently than men?
Because women _are_ different than men, regardless of the populist
notion in the 70's and 80's to the contrary.
I can't speak for any other men, but I myself first think of Monique
as a woman (and I've picked up the hints that she's married - D'oh!),
and after getting past that (and to be honest, I don't know that I
ever really get entirely past that), I think that she's a smart
person, and she adds a lot of value to this list, and I'm glad she's
here.
Actually, I won't be married till Monday -- meaning that after today, my
participation in this conversation will be greatly curtailed -- I'll be
busy with family, getting married, and that whole honeymoon thing for a
bit.
I think I committed a faux paus; I think I've confused you with Emma
Jane concerning the indications of being married, and maybe with the
"your first post/my first response" thing.
I'm glad I'm here, too, and I'm glad you're here, and to be honest your
thinking of me as a "woman first" hasn't really impacted our
interactions, so I guess it hasn't harmed anything. Though it's
conceptually weird to me.
It's not so much that I _think_ first of you as a woman; it's more that
I _notice_ first that you're a woman, and that awareness of your being a
woman doesn't ever quite fade out of the picture.
I bet it's not as conceptually weird to you as you think; for example --
I often call my male co-workers by their last names; I almost never (if
ever) call my female co-workers by their last names. It's no big deal;
but it does demonstrate that I'm (subconsciously) aware of the
difference between men and women and that awareness affects my behavior.
--
Kent
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