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Re: Debian Project News 2011/09 frozen. Please review and translate

Filipus Klutiero wrote:
> On 2011-06-05 18:33, David Prévot wrote:
>> Roland Mas sent a<a
>> href="http://lists.debian.org/debian-devel-announce/2011/05/msg00010.html";>report
>> from the Alioth sprint</a>  held in Cambridge, England from 20 to 22
>> May in the course of which the three Alioth administrators (Stephan Gran, Tollef Fog,
>> Heen and Roland Mas) did an incredible amount of work to redefine the
>> hosting structure of Alioth.
> Tollef Fog Heen is a single person, so there is no need for the comma.

In fact for en_US it's more common for the comma to be compulsory than
forbidden in these cases - see Wikipedia on "Serial Comma".
>> So, it's time to update
>> <a
>> href="http://lists.debian.org/debian-devel-announce/2011/05/msg00007.html";>fingerprints</a>
>> <a
>> href="http://lists.debian.org/debian-devel-announce/2011/05/msg00008.html";>for
>> the two hosts</a>.
> The link on "for the two hosts" is weird.

It's a difficult one, given that we need two links but we don't want
to get bogged down in describing them (since the second is a
correction).  Maybe we could use
   So it's time for a <a href=".../msg00007.html">fingerprint</a>
   <a href=".../msg00008.html">update</a> for the two hosts.

> The formulation is also
> odd. It sounds like all readers would need to upgrade fingerprints,
> although presumably only a minority do.

I don't follow - do you mean because they've already done it, because
they'll never access both hosts, because there's some alternative way
of handling a host-side fingerprint change, or what?
>> He summarized some of the hot topics discussed
>> in the Debian developer mailing list, such as the one about the
>> <q>rolling</q>  release, pointing out how discussions in the
>> <tt>debian-devel</tt>  mailing list have become more useful.

> s/developer/development/

Oh!  I was thinking of "debian-devel" as being short for "Debian
developer mailing list", but its description is "discussion about
technical development topics", so you're right.
> Also, the "the one about" can be dropped (The rolling release is a topic).

Right, that too.

(By the way, I was watching that "rolling distro" flamewar, and seeing
it repeatedly turn back into a productive discussion was amazing.)
>> Per Andersson and Hedvig Kamp wrote a series of article about Free
>> Software in general, and Debian in particular, in a Swedish newspaper,
>> Fria Tidningen.
> No comma is needed before an "and".

It's legal, and, together with the one after "particular", marks the
phrase as an aside.

> "a Swedish newspaper, Fria
> Tidningen" is a particular phrasing. Perhaps the author meant "Fria
> Tidningen, a Swedish newspaper".

Both are possible; now that you mention it I prefer your version, but
it needs the foreign name "Fria Tidningen" set off in some other way
(I'll use <q>uotes).
>> One article is titled<a
>> href="http://www.fria.nu/artikel/88296";>Det demokratiska Debian</a>
>> (<q>The democratic Debian</q>), which describes Debian's organization
>> and social responsibility.
> Here, "which" refers to a title, but the title doesn't describe
> Debian's organization and social responsibility, it's the article
> itself that does. Use instead:
> One article is titled [...] and describes Debian's ...


>> in the paper edition
>> there is also a big fat Debian Women logo
> Let's avoid this poor formulation and replace with "a [very] large
> logo of Debian Women".

Oops, yes.  How about "there is a great big Debian Women logo, too" to
maintain a similar informal tone?  (s/also/too/ because I've just
noticed there's another "also" in the same line.)

Meanwhile near the end in the list of new contributors I'd "corrected"
"Артём Попов" to "Artem Popov" on the assumption that we're allowed to
localise everything into one alphabet - after all, Aron Xu doesn't get
to use Chinese characters.
JBR	with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
	sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package

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