Re: review for public announce about Mini-Debconf Paris 2010

[Justin B Rye <jbr@edlug.org.uk>]

chaica@ohmytux.com wrote:
> Here is the 2nd draft : 

A couple more tweaks:

[...]
> The Paris Mini-DebConf 2010 will be held at Université Paris Diderot -
> Paris 7, Paris, France, October 30 and 31.

Paris Paris Paris Paris!  But the university website does at least
seem to allow the option of giving the address this way:

  The Paris Mini-DebConf 2010 will be held at Université Paris Diderot,
  Paris 7, France, on October 30 and 31.

It probably needs the "on" to split the date off from this
complicated address.  Or maybe you could give just the university
name, and then link to something that gives the street address etc?
 
[...]
> The event wouldn't have been possible without the support of generous
> sponsors of money and other needed facilities. We hereby thank:

"Sponsors of money" doesn't quite work.  Either make it "generous
donors of money" or (to keep the word "sponsors") something like

  The event wouldn't have been possible without the support of generous
  sponsors who have donated money and other needed facilities. We hereby thank:
 
> Université Paris Diderot - Paris 7 (for offering the venues), Gandi.net 
> and Easter-eggs.
>  
> If you are interested in the event and would like to support it you can
> do that by either donating to Debian France at [2] or by contacting me for
(either)  by either donating                          or contacting
(or)      either by donating                         or by contacting

> other kind of support.
        kinds
or      forms

-- 
JBR - and today's single word in West Greenlandic is:
Tusaanngitsuusaartuaannarsinnaanngivipputit
"You simply cannot pretend not to be hearing all the time"