Re: [DRAFT FOR REVIEW] Government owned IT enterprise SERPRO selected Debian GNU/Linux for its servers and wish to collaborate
>> FLOSS is not ambiguous .
> Forgive me, it's American culture spreading its idea of dental hygiene
Well, in brazilian portuguese, we fortunately does not have this problem.
Free as in freedom is the plain meaning of "livre".
Even so, many STILL thinks floss as "gratis" freeware.
> Or one of my favourites at the moment - shove all the extra information
> into brackets:
> During a discussion panel with the LUG Debian RS (mediated by the
> Associacao Software Livre at Debian Day Porto Alegre) SERPRO heard
> It's up to you, choose which you prefer.
It is there now. I guess it could be a matter of style. I fear that texts
between the parenteses could be simply wiped by publishers.
> 2). The last sentence is also working a bit hard:
> These will increase collaboration with, and gain the respect of the
> community for mutual benefit, improving communications, and so lead to
> better operational performance.
> Maybe split it into two sentences?
> This will increase collaboration with, and gain the respect of, the
> community for the mutual benefit of both. Consequently communications
> between SERPRO and the Debian community will be improved and the
> operational performance of SERPRO's production systems will be enhanced.
> It's only a suggestion as it stands - you might leak to tweak it a bit
> depending on how heavily you'd like to push the case.
This sentece I still vote for the MJ version. It is shorter and elegant.
Could it be too difficult to understand with many sentences and commas?