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Re: [RFR] templates://sinfo/{sinfo.templates}



Jonathan Wiltshire wrote:
> On Wed, Oct 14, 2009 at 09:56:56PM +0300, Esko Arajärvi wrote:
>> +_Description: Enable the sinfo CGI interface?
>> + The sinfo package includes a CGI script web interface for sinfo. It is
[...]
>    _Description: Enable the sinfo CGI script?
>     The sinfo package includes a CGI for your web server. It is
>     disabled by default as it might publish information about the computer not
>     intended to be public.

It's true that "CGI interface" is a PIN-numberism, but the problem
with just dropping "interface" is that people aren't used to having
to expand the initialism.  Oh, and it might be the boss's web
server, not "yours".  Tricky.  Well, you could go the other way and
say:
      A CGI script is included, to provide a web interface for sinfo. It is

(Does that sound natural or have I gone all non-native-speakerish?)

>> -Description: Monitoring tool for computer clusters using broadcasts
>> +Description: tool for monitoring computer clusters using broadcasts
>> 
>> Clarify that it is this tool that uses the broadcasts.

Neat.

>>   Sinfo is a monitoring tool that uses network broadcasts to distribute
>> - information about the status of a cluster node on your local network. It
>> + information about the status of cluster nodes on your local network. It
>>   broadcasts CPU, memory usage, network load, and information about the top
>>   5 processes of each computer. [...]

It broadcasts CPU?  Say that it:
     broadcasts information about the CPU, memory usage, network load, and the
     top five processes of each computer.

>> [...] Sinfo consists of a daemon running on each
>> - node to distribute the information and an ncurses frontend to monitor the
>> + node distributing the information and an ncurses frontend to monitor the
>>   nodes.
> 
> That's a big paragraph: I've split it at its natural break, and avoided
> capitalising the package name:
> 
>     .
>     The sinfo package includes a daemon running on each
>     node distributing the information, and an ncurses frontend to monitor them.
> 
> Again, avoid repeating 'node' by calling the collection 'them'.

Looks good.  I won't even insist on a hyphenated front-end.
-- 
JBR	with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
	sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package
--- sinfo-0.0.33.pristine/debian/control	2009-10-08 08:00:12.000000000 +0100
+++ sinfo-0.0.33/debian/control	2009-10-14 22:36:41.000000000 +0100
@@ -9,11 +9,12 @@
 Architecture: any
 Depends: debconf, ${shlibs:Depends}, ${misc:Depends}
 Conflicts: slurm-llnl
-Description: Monitoring tool for computer clusters using broadcasts
+Description: tool for monitoring computer clusters using broadcasts
  Sinfo is a monitoring tool that uses network broadcasts to distribute
- information about the status of a cluster node on your local network. It
- broadcasts CPU, memory usage, network load, and information about the top
- 5 processes of each computer. Sinfo consists of a daemon running on each
- node to distribute the information and an ncurses frontend to monitor the
- nodes.
+ information about the status of cluster nodes on your local network. It
+ broadcasts information about the CPU, memory usage, network load, and the
+ top five processes of each computer.
+ .
+ The sinfo package includes a daemon running on each node distributing the
+ information, and an ncurses frontend to monitor them.
 Homepage: http://www.ant.uni-bremen.de/whomes/rinas/sinfo/
--- sinfo-0.0.33.pristine/debian/sinfo.templates	2009-10-08 08:00:12.000000000 +0100
+++ sinfo-0.0.33/debian/sinfo.templates	2009-10-14 22:37:30.000000000 +0100
@@ -1,7 +1,7 @@
 Template: sinfo/cgi
 Type: boolean
 Default: false
-_Description: Enable the CGI interface to sinfo?
- Sinfo includes a CGI-script which provides a web-interface
- to sinfo. The CGI-script may publish information about
- your computer you don't want to make available to the public.
+_Description: Enable the sinfo CGI script?
+ A CGI script is included, to provide a web interface for sinfo. It is
+ disabled by default as it might publish information about the computer not
+ intended to be public.
Template: sinfo/cgi
Type: boolean
Default: false
_Description: Enable the sinfo CGI script?
 A CGI script is included, to provide a web interface for sinfo. It is
 disabled by default as it might publish information about the computer not
 intended to be public.
Source: sinfo
Section: net
Priority: optional
Maintainer: Juergen Rinas <jrinas@gmx.de>
Build-Depends: debhelper (>= 7.0.0), libncurses5-dev, libboost-dev, libboost-signals-dev, libboost-regex-dev, libasio-dev, po-debconf
Standards-Version: 3.8.0.0

Package: sinfo
Architecture: any
Depends: debconf, ${shlibs:Depends}, ${misc:Depends}
Conflicts: slurm-llnl
Description: tool for monitoring computer clusters using broadcasts
 Sinfo is a monitoring tool that uses network broadcasts to distribute
 information about the status of cluster nodes on your local network. It
 broadcasts information about the CPU, memory usage, network load, and the
 top five processes of each computer.
 .
 The sinfo package includes a daemon running on each node distributing the
 information, and an ncurses frontend to monitor them.
Homepage: http://www.ant.uni-bremen.de/whomes/rinas/sinfo/

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