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Re: Proofreading request for dma 0.0.2009.02.11-1



Ben Finney wrote:
> My attempt:
> 
> =====
> Description: lightweight mail transport agent (MTA)

No need to have "(MTA)" there.

>  The DragonFly Mail Agent is a small Mail Transport Agent (MTA),
>  designed for home and office use. It accepts messages from local Mail
>  User Agents (MUA) and delivers them either to local mailboxes or
>  remote SMTP servers. Remote delivery includes features like TLS/SSL
>  support and SMTP authentication.

Can we change that "like" meaning "such as"?  (There's a justifiable
one in the next paragraph.)

   [...] Remote delivery includes support for features such as TLS/SSL
   and SMTP authentication.

>  .
>  dma is not intended as a replacement for full MTAs like Sendmail,
>  Postfix, or Exim. Consequently, dma does not listen on port 25 for
>  incoming connections.

Maybe "full-featured"?  But "full" is better than "real".

>> dma for Debian
> > --------------
> […]
> 
> The English is okay, but the text reads a bit like a personal missive.
> Could this be re-worded so that it describes the package in Debian,
> without going into the personal opinions of the writer?

Still, it _is_ good and clear.

>> Template: shared/mailname
[...]
> Perhaps this would be better:
> 
> =====
> _Description: Mailname of this host:
>  This is the fully-qualified host name to be presented to SMTP
>  clients. If this value is unspecified, dma will present the output of
>  'hostname --fqdn' as the mail host name.
> =====

This also fixes my concern that the original implied your mailname
would _always_ be equivalent to your FQDN (not true for mypc.lan).

>> Template: dma/relayhost
>> Type: string
>> _Description: Smarthost:
>>  This is the name of a remote server to which to send each message.
>>  If it is left blank, dma will try to deliver all messages by itself;
>>  however, for the present it cannot really handle MX record lookups.
>>  The default is a host named "mail" in the same domain as your computer.
> 
> What does “it cannot really handle” mean? Please replace this with a
> definite statement, either “it cannot handle”, or saying what it
> *does* do.

This also has problems with the "default" - leaving it as it is
doesn't result in the default behaviour?  Perhaps it should be:

  Please specify the name of a remote server which should handle all
  outgoing mail - often a host named "mail" in the local domain.
  Leave it blank if dma should try to deliver all messages by itself
  (which is not recommended: dma cannot perform MX record lookups
  reliably).

Or are you just missing a "Default:" line?
  
 Template: dma/relayhost
 Type: string
 Default: mail
 _Description: Smarthost:
  Please specify the name of a remote server which should handle all
  outgoing mail. The default is a host named "mail" in the local domain.
  An empty string would tell dma to try to deliver all messages by
  itself, which is not recommended: dma cannot perform MX record lookups
  reliably.
 
> > Template: dma/dbounceprog
[...]
> _Description: Command to handle double-bounces:

Agreed.

-- 
JBR	with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
	sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package


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