Re: new draft release announcement
Hello Joey and list,
i started off noting some spelling things
but wandered off to some larger changes too.
Pick what you like :-)
Joey Hess wrote:
>
> (It's pretty well done now. Spelling and grammar corrections
> appreciated.)
>
> ***** THIS IS NOT AN OFFICIAL RELEASE ANNOUNCEMENT *****
> * Debian is NOT released! This is a DRAFT announcement *
> * for an UNRELEASED version of Debian. Go away. *
> ***** THIS IS NOT AN OFFICIAL RELEASE ANNOUNCEMENT *****
What is the title ?
> The Debian Project is pleased to announce the latest release of Debian
It is more than just the latest point release.
How about rephrasing that as :
The Debian Project is pleased to announce a new major release of
Debian
> GNU/Linux, version 3.0.
I would use a ':' here instead of a ','
> Debian GNU/Linux is a free operating system,
It is more than only an operating system,
How about rephrasing it as :
Debian GNU/Linux is a free operating system
that comes with a boatload of free application programs. It is
> developed by nearly a thousand volunteers from all over the world who
> collaborate via the Internet. Debian's dedication to free software, its
> non-profit nature, and its open development model make it unique among
> Linux distributions.
>
> This is the first version of Debian to feature cryptographic software
> integrated into the main distribution, rather than as an optional add-on.
> OpenSSH and GNU Privacy Guard are included in the default install, and
> strong encryption is now present in web browsers and web servers,
Maybe a ',' between "browsers" and "web servers" instead of "and" ?
> databases, and so forth. Further integration of crypto is planned for
> future releases.
>
> With the addition of the ia64, hppa, mips, mipsel, and s390 architectures,
> Debian GNU/Linux now supports a total of eleven architectures. It now runs on
> computers ranging from palmtops to supercomputers, and nearly everything
> in between, including the latest generation of 64 bit machines.
>
> For the first time, Debian comes with the KDE desktop environment. The
> GNOME desktop environment is upgraded to version 1.4, and X itself is
> upgraded to the much improved XFree86 4.1. With the addition of several
"much improved" sounds good. What new goodies does it bring ?
> full featured free graphical web browsers in the form of mozilla, galeon,
Maybe "namely" in stead of "in the form of" ?
and "full-featured" (for easier reading) ?
> and konqueror, Debian's desktop offerings have radically improved.
>
> This version of Debian supports the 2.2 and 2.4 releases of the Linux
> kernel. Along with better support for a greater variety of new hardware
> (such as USB) and significant improvements in usability and stability, the
> 2.4 kernel provides support for the ext3 and reiserfs journaling filesystems.
Kernel 2.2 is included because it is dependable enough for industrial
use.
Maybe mention that ?
Kernel 2.4 has new iptables or something ??
>
> Debian GNU/Linux 3.0 features a more streamlined and polished installation,
Maybe rephrase "a more streamlined" as "an even more streamlined" ?
(to avoid the impression that previously installs were not smooth)
> which is translated into numerous languages.
Maybe rephrase it as "which is available in many languages" ?
(The install is a happening. Happenings are not translatable.)
(maybe a link to a list of languages to see how lucky we are ?)
> The debconf tool is used to
Maybe say "the new debconf tool" ?
(wasnt used in potato i guess)
> streamline configuration of the system. The task system has been revamped
> and made more flexible. Debian GNU/Linux can be installed from CD, or from
> the network and a few floppies. It can be downloaded now, and will soon be
> available on CD-ROM from numerous vendors (http://www.debian.org/CD).
>
> Upgrades to Debian GNU/Linux 3.0 from earlier releases are
> automatically handled by the apt package management tool. As always,
> Debian GNU/Linux systems can be upgraded painlessly, in place, with no
> downtime. For detailed documentation about installing and upgrading
Maybe "instructions and documentation" ?
(to stress that it's not just background info).
(why are the installation instructions in the release notes ?
i expected them to be in a separate document.)
> Debian GNU/Linux, please see the release notes
> (http://www.debian.org/releases/woody/release-notes/).
>
> Current Debian users may be interested to know that this release of Debian
> supports build dependencies, to aid in building packages from source, and
> apt pinning, to ease partial upgrades to our testing branch. Aptitude is
> a replacement for the venerable dselect program and will make it easier to
"an improved replacement" ?
> select packages. Four thousand new software packages are added to the
> distribution in Debian GNU/Linux 3.0.
Maybe add " , making a total of 9000 packages."
(not sure about the number.)
>
> This is the first release of Debian to be compliant with version 2.2 of the
> FHS. Debian GNU/Linux now also supports software developed for the Linux
Maybe write "FHS" as "File Hierarchy Standard" ?
(for people who dont use it every day)
> Standard Base (LSB).
>
> Debian 3.0 is the culmination of years of work by many thousands of
> developers, not only from the Debian project but throughout the free
> software community, and by many commercial enterprises. While some have
Does this mean that some Debian supporting enterprises have fallen
along the way ?
Why mention it ?
> fallen along the way, Debian has weathered recent troubles well,
You mean the DPL election ? :-)
> thanks to
> its volunteer base, its dedication to the Debian Social Contract, and its
> commitment to provide the best operating system possible. This is another
> important step in that direction.
>
I am missing info on the soon-to-arrive open-office debs,
and on the availability of both gcc's 2.95 and 3.
Also, being technically oriented, i would like to know
what hardware is needed to install Woody on.
(and why is the name 'Woody' not mentioned ?
names are more cuddly than numbers, i think.)
And maybe a general link to www.debian.org ?
(eg for details about which languages are available)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
About Paragraphs.
Current paragraph layout :
Announce What
Crypto
Architectures
Desktop, X & Browsers
Kernels
Installing and getting
Installing and upgrading
Apt-pinning, build dependencies & number of packages
FHS and LSB
Community dedication
To me, desktop, X and browsers are different subjects.
Maybe put them in separate paragraphs ?
(I am convinced that the X upgrade has more merits than were
mentioned)
I think it is possible to put all info about installing in one place,
(whether that is desirable is up to you ofcourse),
here is what i have cut&pasted :
Upgrades to Debian GNU/Linux 3.0 from earlier releases are handled
automatically by the apt package management tool. As always,
Debian GNU/Linux systems can be upgraded painlessly, in place,
with no downtime.
Debian GNU/Linux 3.0 features a more streamlined and polished
installation,
which is translated into numerous languages.
The debconf tool is used to streamline configuration of the system.
The task system has been revamped and made more flexible.
For detailed documentation about installing and upgrading Debian
GNU/Linux,
please see the release notes
(http://www.debian.org/releases/woody/release-notes/).
Debian GNU/Linux can be installed from CD, or from
the network and a few floppies. It can be downloaded now, and will soon
be
available on CD-ROM from numerous vendors (http://www.debian.org/CD).
With this new sequencing, it would be logical to put the Apt-pinning
paragraph
before the upgrade paragraph (both deal with upgrading)
The FHS/LSB paragraph could be between Apt-pinning and Kernels
(standards are
the least attractive of the new features and are not installation
related),
although it would be nicer if these announcements of a standard that
was always
adhered to and (maybe) has a new version, and a standard that Debian
is planning
to adhere to but doesnt yet, were replaced by an announcement of
Debian being
fully ready to work with the open-office debs once they are ready.
(well, thats my way of thinking, great thing about debian is that it
contains
so many other viewpoints, often more valid and surprisingly
refreshing)
The number of packages might be mentioned more harmoniously in the
AnnounceWhat
paragraph.
Why the community dedication paragraph includes a mention of unnamed
others being unfortunate, without expressing a feeling or a thought
about that, i dont know.
Is it meant for insiders ?
My taste in paragraph sequence (i'm sure everybody else's differs) is :
Title
Announce What & number of packages
Crypto
Architectures
Kernels (cc)
X
Desktop
Browsers
FHS and LSB
Apt-pinning, build dependencies
upgrading
Installing
Installation/upgrade guide
getting
Community dedication
signature
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks for your dedication and your work. It looks good.
have fun !
Siward
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Freedom, that's what we want.
Freedom, that's what we need."
-Jimi Hendrix, "Free Spirit"
--
To UNSUBSCRIBE, email to debian-devel-request@lists.debian.org
with a subject of "unsubscribe". Trouble? Contact listmaster@lists.debian.org
Reply to: