Re: new draft release announcement
On 30-Apr-02, 00:08 (CDT), Siward de Groot <siward.de.groot@worldonline.nl> wrote:
> Joey Hess wrote:
> > GNU/Linux, version 3.0.
>
> I would use a ':' here instead of a ','
You'd be wrong. The comma is correct.
>
> > full featured free graphical web browsers in the form of mozilla, galeon,
>
> Maybe "namely" in stead of "in the form of" ?
"such as" would be better ("namely" requires a comma after "web
browswers").
> and "full-featured" (for easier reading) ?
Yes.
>
> Maybe rephrase "a more streamlined" as "an even more streamlined" ?
> (to avoid the impression that previously installs were not smooth)
You've been exposed to a marketing group, haven't you? :-) It's widely
agreed that the Debian installer is intimidating to newbies (although
I personally find it more useful in that the "let me think for you"
installers), and "even more streamlined" would appear to deny that we
admit it. Leave it as it is (IMO).
Steve
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Steve Greenland
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