Re: more developer identity stuff
On Tue, 25 Aug 1998, Raul Miller wrote:
> Manoj Srivastava <email@example.com> wrote:
> > I also am sorry you percieve my messages as "harsh"; though I am
> > certainly an advocate of plain speaking, I try quite hard not to
> > respond in anger, and to attack the person rather than the argument.
> > What you term "harsh" is what I term speaking plainly.
> Actually, I think the problem is the use of hypothetical imperatives.
> [such as: maybe you should ....]
> This sort of phrasing is frequently used by people who are angry and
> frustrated. So in email, without any emotional context, a person
> seeing those words might think that you were angry.
> I'm not sure if there's an easy remedy for this kind of thing.
Changing "should" to "could" changes the tone completely, from a demand to
a helpful suggestion.
Another method is to take "you" out of the statement, like:
"One solution to this problem might me to ..."
In any case, any of us who have been "around" for any length of time have
come to appreciate Manoj, even when his wit gets a bit sharp ;-)
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