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Re: CIA training

Mark Humby wrote:
> Dear SIr, 
>             I believe we may have been introduced, perhaps even on the
> street.

Ah! So you must be that guy I on Metro who was worried for a while that
I was an alien from outer space[0].

> I have been living a black operation for the past 5 years. I
> have been receiving emails with pornographic title.

You too? I thought I was alone in them. Hold on one sec, gotta empty my
spam box... 700... 500... 300... 100... ok, done.

> When opened these
> emails contain words of philosophy and have a few words down the bottom
> of the end of the page. I have also learned through the media that the
> CIA quite often perform these operations but the public think of it as
> some kind of virus.

Hmmm, that would be an interesting way to hide communications to agents.
Almost as good as numbers radio[1].

> I believe I am an effective intelligence collector, simply because of my
> life experience rather than higher education.

You've got to worry about the ones with funny titles, like "¼÷Ãë~³¡.
Çê°³·Î ÇØ°áÇϼ¼¿ä!!!"[2], too. I hear those are mind-control devices.

> Therefore I require a teacher to teach me:
> 1. Jungle and Urban sniping
> 2. Explosives
> 3. IT and telecommunications
> 4. Armed/unarmed hand to hand combat.

On (1) you're asking a bunch of computer geeks. Do you think we've ever
even been to a jungle, much less sniped people? OTOH, maybe watching
/MADLAX/ would help. On (2), try posting a suggestion of how to re-do
Debian's release process to -devel, and you'll find out quite a bit
about explosions. For (4), I suggest cross-posting a diatride on how
much better Windows is than Linux, especially in its licensing, to
-devel, -project, and -legal. You'll quickly find out about hand-to-hand
(and worse) combat that way,

On (3), well, can't help you there. Sorry. Try newsfroups.

> I realise this email might not reach its target, so please pass it on to
> your CO because I WILL NOT GIVE UP until I get to where I want to go.

Anyone in Colorodo around? I need to pass a message off to you. TIA.

> Many thanks
> Mark Humby        Phone : 0410 046 306     all hours

[0] True story. Really. Happened on the way back from a meeting with
    other Debian developers, so its even Debian-related. Sort of.

[1] http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A35647-2004Aug2.html
    as well as many more URLs you can google out yourself

[2] Yes, actual spam title.

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