I've incorporated a range of things various people have pointed out to
me, plus a few more of my own. Changes from the first draft are at the
end.
"spurious" here means that I consider the offending item to add
nothing but words (ie, it doesn't mean anything, and just makes the
document longer). I have attempted to locate all such things and
remove them.
Global changes:
- Sanitise the capitalisation on the headings
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Old text:
1. Debian Will Remain 100% Free Software
We promise to keep the Debian GNU/Linux Distribution entirely free
software. As there are many definitions of free software, we include
the guidelines we use to determine if software is "free" below. We
will support our users who develop and run non-free software on
Debian, but we will never make the system depend on an item of
non-free software.
Changes:
- Expand "keep [...] entirely free software"
- Adjust references to the DFSG to eliminate "below" and "include",
to avoid implying it is part of the same document. Note that this
is not a statement that it is distinct, merely an elimination of
unnecessary implications, so that it reads better if reformatted as
two documents.
- Remove "As there are many definitions of free software," as spurious
- Eliminate or expand inaccurate references to "software"
- Expand "depend on"
- Replace "run" with "use"
- Replace "our users" with "people"
New text:
1. Debian will remain 100% free
We promise to preserve the right for everybody to freely use, modify,
and distribute the Debian system and all its components. We provide
the guidelines that we use to determine if a work is "free" in the
document entitled "The Debian Free Software Guidelines". We will
support people who create or use non-free works on Debian. We will
never make the system require the use of a non-free component.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Old text:
2. We Will Give Back to the Free Software Community
When we write new components of the Debian system, we will license
them as free software. We will make the best system we can, so that
free software will be widely distributed and used. We will feed back
bug-fixes, improvements, user requests, etc. to the "upstream" authors
of software included in our system.
Changes:
- Eliminate or expand inaccurate references to "software"
- Rephrase the third sentence to eliminate 'etc'
- Replace "write" with "create"
- Replace "components of [Debian]" with "components for [Debian]"
New text:
2. We will give back to the free software community
When we create new components for the Debian system, we will license
them in a manner consistent with the Debian Free Software Guidelines.
We will make the best system we can, so that free works will be widely
distributed and used. We will communicate things such as bug fixes,
improvements and user requests to the "upstream" authors of works
included in our system.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Old text:
3. We Won't Hide Problems
We will keep our entire bug-report database open for public view at all
times. Reports that users file on-line will immediately become visible
to others.
Changes:
- Fix hyphenation errors
- Relax "immediately" to "promptly", to reflect reality
- Expand "won't"
- Replace "users" with "people"
New text:
3. We will not hide problems
We will keep our entire bug report database open for public view at
all times. Reports that people file online will promptly become visible
to others.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Old text:
4. Our Priorities are Our Users and Free Software
We will be guided by the needs of our users and the free-software
community. We will place their interests first in our priorities. We
will support the needs of our users for operation in many different
kinds of computing environment. We won't object to commercial software
that is intended to run on Debian systems, and we'll allow others to
create value-added distributions containing both Debian and commercial
software, without any fee from us. To support these goals, we will
provide an integrated system of high-quality, 100% free software, with
no legal restrictions that would prevent these kinds of use.
Changes:
- Fix hyphenation errors
- Fix pluralisation errors
- Expand "won't" and "we'll"
- Eliminate or expand inaccurate references to "software"
- Eliminate inaccurate references to "commercial"
- Remove "value-added" as spurious
- Rephrase the last sentence
- Replace "run" with "be used"
New text:
4. Our priorities are our users and free software
We will be guided by the needs of our users and the free software
community. We will place their interests first in our priorities. We
will support the needs of our users for operation in many different
kinds of computing environments. We will not object to non-free works
that are intended to be used on Debian systems, or attempt to charge a
fee to people who create or use such works. We will allow others to
create distributions containing both the Debian system and other
works, without any fee from us. In furtherance of these goals, we will
provide an integrated system of high-quality materials with no legal
restrictions that would prevent such uses of the system.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Old text:
5. Programs That Don't Meet Our Free-Software Standards
We acknowledge that some of our users require the use of programs that
don't conform to the Debian Free Software Guidelines. We have created
"contrib" and "non-free" areas in our FTP archive for this software.
The software in these directories is not part of the Debian system,
although it has been configured for use with Debian. We encourage CD
manufacturers to read the licenses of software packages in these
directories and determine if they can distribute that software on their
CDs. Thus, although non-free software isn't a part of Debian, we
support its use, and we provide infrastructure (such as our
bug-tracking system and mailing lists) for non-free software packages.
Changes:
- Fix hyphenation errors
- Expand "don't" and "isn't"
- Eliminate inaccurate reference to FTP
- Eliminate or expand inaccurate references to "software" and "programs"
- Use "areas" consistently instead of both "areas" and "directories"
- Change ", and we" to "and" in the last sentence
- Move the parenthesised clause in the last sentence to the end
New text:
5. Works that do not meet our free software standards
We acknowledge that some of our users require the use of works that do
not conform to the Debian Free Software Guidelines. We have created
"contrib" and "non-free" areas in our archive for these works. The
packages in these areas are not part of the Debian system, although
they have been configured for use with Debian. We encourage CD
manufacturers to read the licenses of the packages in these areas and
determine if they can distribute the packages on their CDs. Thus,
although non-free works are not a part of Debian, we support their use
and provide infrastructure for non-free packages (such as our bug
tracking system and mailing lists).
------------------------------------------------------------------------
New full text:
1. Debian will remain 100% free
We promise to preserve the right for everybody to freely use, modify,
and distribute the Debian system and all its components. We provide
the guidelines that we use to determine if a work is "free" in the
document entitled "The Debian Free Software Guidelines". We will
support people who create or use non-free works on Debian. We will
never make the system require the use of a non-free component.
2. We will give back to the free software community
When we write new components of the Debian system, we will license
them in a manner consistent with the Debian Free Software Guidelines.
We will make the best system we can, so that free works will be widely
distributed and used. We will communicate things such as bug fixes,
improvements and user requests to the "upstream" authors of works
included in our system.
3. We will not hide problems
We will keep our entire bug report database open for public view at
all times. Reports that people file online will promptly become visible
to others.
4. Our priorities are our users and free software
We will be guided by the needs of our users and the free software
community. We will place their interests first in our priorities. We
will support the needs of our users for operation in many different
kinds of computing environments. We will not object to non-free works
that are intended to be used on Debian systems, or attempt to charge a
fee to people who create or use such works. We will allow others to
create distributions containing both the Debian system and other
works, without any fee from us. In furtherance of these goals, we will
provide an integrated system of high-quality materials with no legal
restrictions that would prevent such uses of the system.
5. Works that do not meet our free software standards
We acknowledge that some of our users require the use of works that do
not conform to the Debian Free Software Guidelines. We have created
"contrib" and "non-free" areas in our archive for these works. The
packages in these areas are not part of the Debian system, although
they have been configured for use with Debian. We encourage CD
manufacturers to read the licenses of the packages in these areas and
determine if they can distribute the packages on their CDs. Thus,
although non-free works are not a part of Debian, we support their use
and provide infrastructure for non-free packages (such as our bug
tracking system and mailing lists).
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Changes from the first draft:
The changes to clause 1 were adjusted some more. wdiff:
We promise to preserve [-your-] {+the+} right {+for everybody+} to freely use, modify,
and distribute the Debian system and all its components. We provide
the guidelines that we use to determine if a work is "free" in the
document [-called the-] {+entitled "The+} Debian Free Software [-Guidelines.-] {+Guidelines".+} We will
support people who create or use non-free works on [-Debian, but we-] {+Debian. We+} will
never make the system require the use of a non-free component.
These changes were added:
Clause 2:
+ Rephrase the third sentence to eliminate 'etc'
+ Replace "write" with "create"
+ Replace "components of [Debian]" with "components for [Debian]"
Clause 3:
+ Replace "users" with "people"
Clause 5:
- Eliminate or expand inaccurate references to "software"
+ Eliminate or expand inaccurate references to "software" and "programs"
+ Change ", and we" to "and" in the last sentence
+ Move the parenthesised clause in the last sentence to the end
Plus some scattered grammatical changes (mostly commas).
--
.''`. ** Debian GNU/Linux ** | Andrew Suffield
: :' : http://www.debian.org/ |
`. `' |
`- -><- |
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