"Debian just plain works" - that's until someone discovers a yet
another one 0-day SystemD vuln and your server is Pwned.
I am telling it to you as a true Russian hacker, mwahahahaha!
hacking SystemD while you sleep ;)
Dear Ivan, no one said something about systemd, because the topic was discussed and closed on the list.
Not sure about Gene, but I use good old sysv init and for Gods sake, no one thinks of running systemd on a firewall (I hope)
As for the useful program, as you are a hacker, you would be able to build a debian package and install it on your machines easily, so I wonder if it is word the record to ring those bells so loud.