Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe you don't actually set preferences to install recommends. This is now the Debian default. You have to explicitly turn them off if you don't want them.
To avoid this, you should place these lines in /etc/apt/apt.conf:
APT::Install-Recommends "0";
APT::Install-Suggests "0";
I agree -- recommends are not depends, and they should not be automatic. And yet they are.
(Also note that I have the above lines in my apt.conf and I *still* got network-manger.)
James