Re: Possible virus?
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On Fri, Jul 05, 2002 at 09:12:31PM -0600, Bob Proulx wrote:
> Sounds fun. Share with the list?
Here's the really good ones from my .procmailrc
:0 B
* ^Content-.*\>+\/name=.*\.(exe|vbs|bat|com|scr|pif|lnk)"?$
* !^X-Loop: MAILER-DAEMON@ursine.dyndns.org
| (formail -rk -i "From: MAILER-DAEMON@ursine.dyndns.org" -A "X-Loop: MAILER-DAEMON@ursine.dyndns.org";\
echo "Your message contained an attachment that I cannot use. I don't do Windows";\
echo "here, and it's not going to change just for me to deal with your message.";\
echo "";\
echo "If your program was important, please send source code in Perl or ANSI C,";\
echo "preferrably with a Makefile if it's more than one file.";\
echo "";\
echo "If you did not send the attachment that is being bounced back at you, consider";\
echo "switching to a mailer other than Outlook Express after you reformat and";\
echo "reinstall your operating system. I'm tired of recieving junk mail from members";\
echo "of the bug-of-the-month club, don't be part of the problem.";\
echo "";\
echo "This is an automated response, no human has seen your message." ) | $SENDMAIL -t -oi
# Explain to HTML senders why I'm not even bothering.
:0 B
* ^Content-Type:.text/html
* !^X-Loop: MAILER-DAEMON@ursine.dyndns.org
| (formail -rk -i "From: MAILER-DAEMON@ursine.dyndns.org" -A "X-Loop: MAILER-DAEMON@ursine.dyndns.org";\
echo "Your message was in, or contained, HTML. Mail sent by HTML will not";\
echo "be considered for reading. Sending in HTML is resource intensive,";\
echo "often consuming far more resources than necissary to get the job,";\
echo "done, and assumes that the recipient's mail reader is braindamaged";\
echo "enough to parse potentially bugged HTML in this day and age.";\
echo "";\
echo "Please disable HTML in your mail program before attempting to";\
echo "resend your message.";\
echo "";\
echo "This is an automated response, no human has seen your message." ) | $SENDMAIL -t -oi
# Explain to MS Exchange users why I'm not even bothering.
:0 B
* ^Content-Type:.application/ms-tnef*
* !^X-Loop: MAILER-DAEMON@ursine.dyndns.org
| (formail -rk -i "From: MAILER-DAEMON@ursine.dyndns.org" -A "X-Loop: MAILER-DAEMON@ursine.dyndns.org";\
echo "Your email was sent in a format that is only readable by Outlook and Outlook";\
echo "Express users. Since I don't use either, I can't read it. Therefore, I have";\
echo "this automatic filter set up to bounce these unreadable emails.";\
echo "";\
echo "If your message was important, please resend it in a format that is readable by";\
echo "the rest of the email programs in the world, such as ASCII.";\
echo "";\
echo "I have no idea how to configure your emailer to do this, because I don't use";\
echo "Outlook or Outlook Express, please consult your documentation (if you wanted";\
echo "good documentation, you probably wouldn't be using Windows. Good luck!).";\
echo "";\
echo "This is an automated response, no human has seen your message." ) | $SENDMAIL -t -oi
:0
* ^*X-MSExch-Correlation-Key*
* !^X-Loop: MAILER-DAEMON@ursine.dyndns.org
| (formail -rk -i "From: MAILER-DAEMON@ursine.dyndns.org" -A "X-Loop: MAILER-DAEMON@ursine.dyndns.org";\
echo "Your email was sent in a format that is only readable by Outlook and Outlook";\
echo "Express users. Since I don't use either, I can't read it. Therefore, I have";\
echo "this automatic filter set up to bounce these unreadable emails.";\
echo "";\
echo "If your message was important, please resend it in a format that is readable by";\
echo "the rest of the email programs in the world, such as ASCII.";\
echo "";\
echo "I have no idea how to configure your emailer to do this, because I don't use";\
echo "Outlook or Outlook Express, please consult your documentation (if you wanted";\
echo "good documentation, you probably wouldn't be using Windows. Good luck!).";\
echo "";\
echo "This is an automated response, no human has seen your message." ) | $SENDMAIL -t -oi
# Explain to misguided users how to get off debian-user.
:0
* ^Subject: *unsubscribe*
* !^X-Loop: MAILER-DAEMON@ursine.dyndns.org
| (formail -rk -i "From: MAILER-DAEMON@ursine.dyndns.org" -A "X-Loop: MAILER-DAEMON@ursine.dyndns.org";\
echo "Your message to unsubscribe was sent to the wrong email address and likely no";\
echo "action was taken. Please take a moment to read the instructions on the end";\
echo "of every message sent to the Debian User mailing list, reproduced here:";\
echo "";\
echo "To UNSUBSCRIBE, email to debian-user-request@lists.debian.org";\
echo "with a subject of "unsubscribe". Trouble? Contact listmaster@lists.debian.org";\
echo "or visit http://lists.debian.org/";\
echo "";\
echo "This is an automated response, Baloo has not seen your message, and";\
echo "no action has likely been taken to get you off the list." ) | $SENDMAIL -t -oi
# Explain the importance of subject lines.
* ^To:.*debian-user
* ^Subject:.*Unidentified subject!*
* !^X-Loop: MAILER-DAEMON@ursine.dyndns.org
| (formail -rk -i "From: MAILER-DAEMON@ursine.dyndns.org" -A "X-Loop: MAILER-DAEMON@ursine.dyndns.org";\
echo "If you can't be bothered to set a subject line, many readers can't be";\
echo "bothered to read your message. In the future, you might want to set a";\
echo "subject line to help people get an idea what you're discussing without";\
echo "the need to open your message first.";\
echo "";\
echo "This is an automated response, Baloo has not seen your message.";\
# LART idiots with badly installed virus packages
:0 HB
* ^Antigen for Exchange found .*infected with
* !^X-Loop: MAILER-DAEMON@ursine.dyndns.org
| (formail -rk -i "From: MAILER-DAEMON@ursine.dyndns.org" -A "X-Loop: MAILER-DAEMON@ursine.dyndns.org";\
echo "Either your mail server or your virus package is (mis)configured to send out";\
echo "warnings when it has recieved (what it thinks to be) a virus or a worm.";\
echo "";\
echo "Please be aware that most of the net finds these messages unhelpful at best";\
echo "but most likely just a waste of bandwidth, money and time. While your heart";\
echo "may have been in the right place, and we appreciate the thought of someone";\
echo "trying to be helpful, it would be more greatly appreciated if you would";\
echo "kindly inform the offending sender that it is good practice to install";\
echo "a good virus package and keep it up to date. Most of us read our mail";\
echo "using Debian Linux and thus don't have to worry about whatever the hot new";\
echo "item to roll down the pipe for the Bug of the Month club.";\
echo "";\
echo "This is an automated response, no human has seen your message." ) | $SENDMAIL -t -oi
:0 HB
* ^NAV for Microsoft Exchange
* !^X-Loop: MAILER-DAEMON@ursine.dyndns.org
| (formail -rk -i "From: MAILER-DAEMON@ursine.dyndns.org" -A "X-Loop: MAILER-DAEMON@ursine.dyndns.org";\
echo "Either your mail server or your virus package is (mis)configured to send out";\
echo "warnings when it has recieved (what it thinks to be) a virus or a worm.";\
echo "";\
echo "Please be aware that most of the net finds these messages unhelpful at best";\
echo "but most likely just a waste of bandwidth, money and time. While your heart";\
echo "may have been in the right place, and we appreciate the thought of someone";\
echo "trying to be helpful, it would be more greatly appreciated if you would";\
echo "kindly inform the offending sender that it is good practice to install";\
echo "a good virus package and keep it up to date. Most of us read our mail";\
echo "using Debian Linux and thus don't have to worry about whatever the hot new";\
echo "item to roll down the pipe for the Bug of the Month club.";\
echo "";\
echo "This is an automated response, no human has seen your message." ) | $SENDMAIL -t -oi
:0 HB
* ^ScanMail for Microsoft Exchange*
* !^X-Loop: MAILER-DAEMON@ursine.dyndns.org
| (formail -rk -i "From: MAILER-DAEMON@ursine.dyndns.org" -A "X-Loop: MAILER-DAEMON@ursine.dyndns.org";\
echo "Either your mail server or your virus package is (mis)configured to send out";\
echo "warnings when it has recieved (what it thinks to be) a virus or a worm.";\
echo "";\
echo "Please be aware that most of the net finds these messages unhelpful at best";\
echo "but most likely just a waste of bandwidth, money and time. While your heart";\
echo "may have been in the right place, and we appreciate the thought of someone";\
echo "trying to be helpful, it would be more greatly appreciated if you would";\
echo "kindly inform the offending sender that it is good practice to install";\
echo "a good virus package and keep it up to date. Most of us read our mail";\
echo "using Debian Linux and thus don't have to worry about whatever the hot new";\
echo "item to roll down the pipe for the Bug of the Month club.";\
echo "";\
echo "This is an automated response, no human has seen your message." ) | $SENDMAIL -t -oi
:0 HB
* ^Panda Antivirus has found the following viruses in the message:$
* !^X-Loop: MAILER-DAEMON@ursine.dyndns.org
| (formail -rk -i "From: MAILER-DAEMON@ursine.dyndns.org" -A "X-Loop: MAILER-DAEMON@ursine.dyndns.org";\
echo "Either your mail server or your virus package is (mis)configured to send out";\
echo "warnings when it has recieved (what it thinks to be) a virus or a worm.";\
echo "";\
echo "Please be aware that most of the net finds these messages unhelpful at best";\
echo "but most likely just a waste of bandwidth, money and time. While your heart";\
echo "may have been in the right place, and we appreciate the thought of someone";\
echo "trying to be helpful, it would be more greatly appreciated if you would";\
echo "kindly inform the offending sender that it is good practice to install";\
echo "a good virus package and keep it up to date. Most of us read our mail";\
echo "using Debian Linux and thus don't have to worry about whatever the hot new";\
echo "item to roll down the pipe for the Bug of the Month club.";\
echo "";\
echo "This is an automated response, no human has seen your message." ) | $SENDMAIL -t -oi
- --
Baloo
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