Lying to dpkg?

["Phoenix Amon" <phoenix@directiondesigns.com>]

I've installed Linux/Apache on my standalone home box so that I can mirror and locally test my web sites using dummy network interfaces. I needed PHP, mySQL, SSL and Apache to all work together nicely, and I couldn't make that happen installing from debs (primarily mysql wouldn't talk to php... I don't even know if there's a deb file for OpenSSL). So I ended up installing 5 packages from source (apache, openssl, mod_ssl, mysql, and php3) and now they all work together like a charm. 

My problem is that now if I want to install anything using dpkg/dselect that requires httpd or mysql, I'm prompted to install those packages that I already have first. And things that "recommend" httpd keep nagging me forever to install apache, which already exists. Is there anyway I can lie to dpkg to convince it that I really do have these packages installed? Or would that not work anyway because programs would look for it in the wrong location? (/usr/bin rather than usr/local/bin or whatever)

Or am I forced to keep installing from source anything that requires something else that I installed from source? And if that's what I should do, should I use Debianized source or generic source?

Forgive my ignorance... I'd never seen Linux until about a week ago... and right now I must say that package management has a real heavy-handed big-brotherish feeling to me. Seems like Debian is controlling what I install under Linux more than MS ever controlled what I installed under Win.

Thanks
Phoenix