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Re: Asking for Calm

Dear Sam.

Sam Hartman - 31.12.19, 15:37:09 CET:
> folks, emotions are very high at the moment.  It would really help if
> you could let the discussion die down.  If there are issues that you
> need to address, please reach out to da-manager, the listmaster, DPL,
> the community team, or anyone else who you think will hear you and
> give you the help you're looking for.
> We want to hear people even when they are very upset.  Similarly, we
> don't want people to be provoked into being so upset that they cannot
> be heard.

How does that go together, Sam?

> I'm hoping that we can all cooperate to take a step back, and get the
> space we'll need to approach these issues in a sustainable manner and
> build the community we want to live in.
> Again, if you're hurting now and something needs attention, reach out,
> but preferably not on the list.

Why not?

How is going to say "I feel hurt about the outcome of the GR" – 
personally I am not even sure whether I do – or "I think the GR did not 
serve the highest good of Debian" or something like that which is 
*respectful* and within the bounds of Code of Conduct, suddenly not 
acceptable anymore?

One of the biggest challenges of Debian community as I see it is 
learning to *respectfully* agree to disagree, instead of trying to 
"silence" the other side. As I see it we have a ton to learn there, a 
huge ton to learn there.

What I personally would do now is to welcome any voices and let them be 
there as long as they are within a boundaries of Code of Conduct or 
otherwise put are respectful and harmless. Cause this would give the 
chance to allow those voices to be heard. It is a sign of respect to 
those who lost by the outcome of the Init Systems GR. And it is also a 
very simple thing about emotions: Try to suppress an emotion and you can 
be sure that it comes up again, later. I highly recommend trying to 
welcome it instead. From my direct personal experience it can often 
easily disappear then. The biggest lie about emotions for me is that 
suppressing them or pushing them away will somehow do anything good.

Another thing would be to start with seminars about non-violent 
communication, similar as those taught during KDE Academy gatherings of 
the KDE community.

For me here the "How" of the communication is much, much, much more 
important than the "What".


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