Re: Back to Windows??
On Mon, Feb 19, 2001 at 08:12:09PM +0100, Hans Verschoor and Jennie Kohsiek wrote:
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Craig T. Milling" <c-milli@physics.uiuc.edu>
> To: "'Debian-Laptop (E-mail)" <debian-laptop@lists.debian.org>
> Cc: "Christopher Wolf" <debianlists@thewolfden.org>; "Craig Milling"
> <ctmilling@yahoo.com>
> Sent: Monday, February 19, 2001 6:44 PM
> Subject: Re: Back to Windows??
> >
> > Here are some concrete positives (in my experience) for why you would
> > *want* to run Linux as more than just a hobbyist.
> >
> > (1) You control the interface. You have a choice of window managers,
> > GNOME, KDE. *You* get to decide how you want to interact with the
> > computer, not Bill Gates.
> Hans:
> In the first place these window managers are Windows look-alikes, especially
> KDE that was intentionally designed to be as Windows as Windows can be
> i.m.h.o. In the second place, I do not have this insurpressibke urge to
> "decide by myself" if others offer a good solution, named Bill or not.
Fair enough, although these environments are not Windows look-alikes (or
work-alikes).
> >
> > (2) Stability. It is a pleasure knowing that I can leave my laptop
> > running for days/weeks at a time and it won't crash. Even if there is a
> > misbehaving application, it can be killed without destabilizing everything
> > else.
> Hans.
> I do run KDE, and the browser and office applications crash on a regular
> basis and in fact much more often than the Seattle counterparts.
These are immature applications. They will get more stable, especially if you
report your bugs.
> >
> > (3) Free. As in beer. I really like the fact that the next
> > kernel/GNOME/gnuplot/emacs upgrade won't cost me $90-$100. It's free.
> > Yes it costs some time, but (2) makes up for that.
> Hans:
> The money issue is relative, Japanese companies are now kicking Linux out
> because they discover that they are spending huge sums at "Linux
> specialists" maintaining their systems.
Unix systems = 1 administrator. Windows systems = 10 admin/helpdesk
personnel. I don't think that Windows is any cheaper to maintain or support.
It has one advantage -- more people are familiar with it.
> >
> > (4) Free. As in speech. The source code is open, which means no one has
> > control over your computer. It also helps combat software obsolence and
> > forced upgrades by having file formats open.
> Hans:
> I don't follow this argumentation. The fact that the source is open is in
> no relation that your computer is not controlled. I am not an OS expert, I
> don't want to be an OS expert I don't want to look into sources that are not
> part of my core business, I want the software to work correctly and
> therefore yes: Any software controls my computer.
This is the driving force of it all, whether you want to jump on board or not,
this is why the "revolution" has occurred so rapidly.
> >
> > (5) Unixisms: True multitasking, multiuser capabilities. You don't have
> > to worry about nuking important files (as long as your not root!). You
> > don't have to worry about being bit by the LOVE BUG. You can lock down
> > services to hold script-kiddies at bay. You can share your computer with
> > other users w/o them messing up your files and desktop.
> Hans:
> Misargumentation, the file protection system of let's say NT or W2000 is
> much more sophisticated than UNIX, alas for you but that's a fact and I will
> not share my computer. And for viruses, yes you have to be a bit more
> careful, a bit less naive, that's true.
You're arguing about ACLs. Linux (I believe) supports ACLs in kernel 2.4.
Regardless, the Unix file "protection" paradigm is simple, more manageable and
usable than access control lists. "Sophistication" doesn't make something
better.
> >
> > It is difficult. It seems everything involving setup and installation is
> > difficult the first time, but the time spent is an investment, not a loss.
> > The next time you do something it gets easier. I would recommend you aim
> > low. Set up a dual boot configuration so you can always use Windows.
> > Then install Linux and work on it a little bit at a time. Get a command
> > line going, then X, then compile a kernel specific to your machine. First
> > get your NIC going, then sound card, then ... Yes it may take awhile, but
> > you will find yourself being slowly won over to Linux. Then the next
> > computer you get, things will go much faster.
> Hans:
> Again, from my objectives of using my computer, these investment are pure
> losses. I don't want a dual boot system, my computer is a server, so
> hopefully boots a few times a year. I have no intention to become a kernel
> hacker, an inventoe or a whizkid, my objective is to have a stable simple
> server machine on the shortest term possible. And don't forget, companies
> switching to Linux usually have exactly this reason.
If you just want a server, I'm not certain why you run KOffice. Anyhow, you've
made a very sound choice with Linux, I hope that you continue to use it.
> >
> > Don't forget that a computer is just a tool. If you need all your
> > hardware, use the preinstalled OS. If you also need some of the GNU tools
> > (tar,awk, ...) install Cygwin, or dual boot.
> >
> Hans:
> Right on !
> Linux should not be a cult, but I think it is by now .....
> > My testimonial: I got my laptop in Jan,1999 (an ARM TS759. ARM is very
> > linux friendly and even offers preinstalled RedHat. I specifically asked
> > about Linux before buying). My NIC (a generic 10baseT) was supported off
> > the bat. It took about 6 mos for the soundcard driver to make it into the
> > stable kernel. I would still use Windows regularly. Eventually my
> > windows use was only for games and all my work was done in Linux. Finally
> > I got bored of the games. The last time I booted into windows was 6 mos
> > ago, and last week I got rid of the last fat partition on my disk.
> >
> Hans:
> Mine: I got an all Linux compatible hardware set, because I checked all
> components before. Got Debian 2.2.18pre21 and the result: I can't print on a
> HP2100 (mentioned to be "perfect" for Linux), I can't tar to a DI-30
> tapestreamer (proudly declared: "Linux certified" by the manufacturer), I'm
> doubtful if my network will work and it will probable take another year
> before I get my ADSL modem working. I will install W2000 in the days to come
> and if everything works: "bye bye Linux".
The docs are there to do all that you need, if you're not willing to invest
some time researching, then you are in the wrong field.
> > Craig Milling
> >
> > PS. If you made it down this far, thanks for reading my rambling missive.
> > :)
> >
> Hans:
> As you can see, I made it.
> > ____________________
> > Dr. Craig T. Milling
> > c-milli@uiuc.edu
> > Dept. of Physics, Univ. of Illinois
> > Phone: 217/333-1930
> >
> >
> >
> > --
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> >
> >
> --
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--
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Why are you doing this to me?
Because knowledge is torture, and there must be awareness before
there is change.
-- Jim Starlin, "Captain Marvel", #29
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
A person who is more than casually interested in computers should be well
schooled in machine language, since it is a fundamental part of a computer.
-- Donald Knuth
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Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted;
persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting
to find a plot in it will be shot. By Order of the Author
-- Mark Twain, "Tom Sawyer"
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Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
-- Gore Vidal
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Ambiguity:
Telling the truth when you don't mean to.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
One difference between a man and a machine is that a machine is quiet
when well oiled.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
If you go out of your mind, do it quietly, so as not to disturb those
around you.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Before Xerox, five carbons were the maximum extension of anybody's ego.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Why do mathematicians insist on using words that already have another
meaning? "It is the complex case that is easier to deal with." "If it
doesn't happen at a corner, but at an edge, it nonetheless happens at a
corner."
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Lift every voice and sing
Till earth and heaven ring,
Ring with the harmonies of Liberty;
Let our rejoicing rise
High as the listening skies,
Let it resound loud as the rolling sea.
Sing a song full of the faith that the dark past has taught us.
Sing a song full of the hope that the present has bought us.
Facing the rising sun of our new day begun,
Let us march on till victory is won.
-- James Weldon Johnson
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
If all the seas were ink,
And all the reeds were pens,
And all the skies were parchment,
And all the men could write,
These would not suffice
To write down all the red tape
Of this Government.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
> I've hacked the Xaw3d library to give you a Win95 like interface and it
> is named Xaw95. You can replace your Xaw3d library.
Oh God, this is so disgusting!
-- seen on c.o.l.development.apps, about the "Win95 look-alike"
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Thousands of days of civilians ... have produced a ... feeling for the
aesthetic modules --
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
What sin has not been committed in the name of efficiency?
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
My idea of roughing it turning the air conditioner too low.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
There is no sin but ignorance.
-- Christopher Marlowe
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Like, if I'm not for me, then fer shure, like who will be? And if, y'know,
if I'm not like fer anyone else, then hey, I mean, what am I? And if not
now, like I dunno, maybe like when? And if not Who, then I dunno, maybe
like the Rolling Stones?
-- Rich Rosen (Rabbi Valiel's paraphrase of famous quote
attributed to Rabbi Hillel.)
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
For the first time we have a weapon that nobody has used for thirty years.
This gives me great hope for the human race.
-- Harlan Ellison
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Only a fool has no doubts.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
If you flaunt it, expect to have it trashed.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.
-- Lord Thomas Rober Dewar
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
What do you have when you have six lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?
Not enough sand.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if
I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?"
-- Steven Wright
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I
definitely overpaid for my carpet.
-- Woody Allen, "Without Feathers"
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
The Anglo-Saxon conscience does not prevent the Anglo-Saxon from
sinning, it merely prevents him from enjoying his sin.
--Salvador De Madariaga
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
If the colleges were better, if they really had it, you would need to get
the police at the gates to keep order in the inrushing multitude. See in
college how we thwart the natural love of learning by leaving the natural
method of teaching what each wishes to learn, and insisting that you shall
learn what you have no taste or capacity for. The college, which should
be a place of delightful labor, is made odious and unhealthy, and the
young men are tempted to frivolous amusements to rally their jaded spirits.
I would have the studies elective. Scholarship is to be created not
by compulsion, but by awakening a pure interest in knowledge. The wise
instructor accomplishes this by opening to his pupils precisely the
attractions the study has for himself. The marking is a system for schools,
not for the college; for boys, not for men; and it is an ungracious work to
put on a professor.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
"See - the thing is - I'm an absolutist. I mean, kind of ... in a way ..."
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
"Richard, in being so fierce toward my vampire, you were doing
what you wanted to do, even though you thought it was going to hurt
somebody else. He even told you he'd be hurt if..."
"He was going to suck my blood!"
"Which is what we do to anyone when we tell them we'll be hurt
if they don't live our way."
...
"The thing that puzzles you," he said, "is an accepted saying that
happens to be impossible. The phrase is hurt somebody else. We choose,
ourselves, to be hurt or not to be hurt, no matter what. Us who decides.
Nobody else. My vampire told you he'd be hurt if you didn't let him? That's
his decision to be hurt, that's his choice. What you do about it is your
decision, your choice: give him blood; ignore him; tie him up; drive a stake
through his heart. If he doesn't want the holly stake, he's free to resist,
in whatever way he wants. It goes on and on, choices, choices."
"When you look at it that way..."
"Listen," he said, "it's important. We are all. Free. To do.
Whatever. We want. To do."
-- Richard Bach, "Illusions"
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Last guys don't finish nice.
-- Stanley Kelley, on the cult of victory at all costs
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Never kick a man, unless he's down.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Oh, I have slipped the surly bonds of earth,
And danced the skies on laughter silvered wings;
Sunward I've climbed and joined the tumbling mirth
Of sun-split clouds and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of --
Wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence.
Hovering there
I've chased the shouting wind along and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air.
Up, up along delirious, burning blue
I've topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace,
Where never lark, or even eagle flew;
And, while with silent, lifting mind I've trod
The high untrespassed sanctity of space,
Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.
-- John Gillespie Magee Jr., "High Flight"
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Next, upon a stool, we've a sight to make you drool.
Seven virgins and a mule, keep it cool, keep it cool.
-- ELP, "Karn Evil 9" (1st Impression, Part 2)
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Now, you might ask, "How do I get one of those complete home tool
sets for under $4?" An excellent question.
Go to one of those really cheap discount stores where they sell
plastic furniture in colors visible from the planet Neptune and where they
have a food section specializing in cardboard cartons full of Raisinets and
malted milk balls manufactured during the Nixon administration. In either
the hardware or housewares department, you'll find an item imported from an
obscure Oriental country and described as "Nine Tools in One", consisting of
a little handle with interchangeable ends representing inscrutable Oriental
notions of tools that Americans might use around the home. Buy it.
This is the kind of tool set professionals use. Not only is it
inexpensive, but it also has a great safety feature not found in the
so-called quality tools sets: The handle will actually break right off if
you accidentally hit yourself or anything else, or expose it to direct
sunlight.
-- Dave Barry, "The Taming of the Screw"
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.
-- Buckminster Fuller
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender,
"Do you serve lawyers here?".
"Sure do," replied the bartender.
"Good," said the man. "Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for
my 'gator."
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Princeton's taste is sweet like a strawberry tart. Harvard's is a subtle
taste, like whiskey, coffee, or tobacco. It may even be a bad habit, for
all I know.
-- Prof. J.H. Finley '25
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Toddlers are the stormtroopers of the Lord of Entropy.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
I think it's time to remove Qt and Qt-derived applications from the distributon.
By distributing it, we only encourage authors to create restrictive licenses.
-- Bruce Perens
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Pittsburgh driver's test
(5) Your car's horn is a vital piece of safety equipment. How often should
you test it?
(a) once a year.
(b) once a month.
(c) once a day.
(d) once an hour.
The correct answer is (d). You should test your car's horn at least once
every hour, and more often at night or in residential neighborhoods.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
You'd like to do it instantaneously, but that's too slow.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.
-- Indira Gandhi
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
A journey of a thousand miles starts under one's feet.
-- Lao Tsu
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Dieters live life in the fasting lane.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
When speculation has done its worst, two plus two still equals four.
-- S. Johnson
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Would the last person to leave Michigan please turn out the lights?
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
If one tells the truth, one is sure, sooner or later, to be found out.
-- Oscar Wilde, "Phrases and Philosophies for the Use
of the Young"
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
"Surely you can't be serious."
"I am serious, and stop calling me Shirley."
-- "Airplane"
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
___====-_ _-====___
_--~~~#####// ' ` \\#####~~~--_
-~##########// ( ) \\##########~-_
-############// |\^^/| \\############-
_~############// (O||O) \\############~_
~#############(( \\// ))#############~
-###############\\ (oo) //###############-
-#################\\ / `' \ //#################-
-###################\\/ () \//###################-
_#/|##########/\######( (()) )######/\##########|\#_
|/ |#/\#/\#/\/ \#/\##| \()/ |##/\#/ \/\#/\#/\#| \|
` |/ V V ` V )|| |()| ||( V ' V /\ \| '
` ` ` ` / | |()| | \ ' '<||> '
( | |()| | )\ /|/
__\ |__|()|__| /__\______/|/
(vvv(vvvv)(vvvv)vvv)______|/
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
This was the most unkindest cut of all.
-- William Shakespeare, "Julius Caesar"
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
F.S. Fitzgerald to Hemingway:
"Ernest, the rich are different from us."
Hemingway:
"Yes. They have more money."
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
I knew Leo G. Carrol
Was over a barrel
When Tarantula took to the hills. ["Lick it!"]
And I really got hot
When I saw Jeanette Scott
Fight a triffid that spits poison and kills.
Science fiction, double feature
Doctor X will build a creature.
See androids fighting Brad and Janet
Anne Francis stars in Forbidden Planet
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
At the late night, double feature, picture show.
-- The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Forgive and forget.
-- Cervantes
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
"After one week [visiting Austria] I couldn't wait to go back to the United
States. Everything was much more pleasant in the United States, because of
the mentality of being open-minded, always positive. Everything you want to
do in Europe is just, 'No way. No one has ever done it.' They haven't any
more the desire to go out to conquer and achieve -- I realized that I had much
more the American spirit."
-- Arnold Schwarzenegger
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
"Are those cocktail-waitress fingernail marks?" I asked Colletti as he
showed us these scratches on his chest. "No, those are on my back," Colletti
answered. "This is where a case of cocktail shrimp fell on me. I told her
to slow down a little, but you know cocktail waitresses, they seem to have
a mind of their own."
-- The Incredibly Monstrous, Mind-Roasting Summer of O.C. and Stiggs
National Lampoon, October 1982
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Without coffee he could not work, or at least he could not have worked in the
way he did. In addition to paper and pens, he took with him everywhere as an
indispensable article of equipment the coffee machine, which was no less
important to him than his table or his white robe.
-- Stefan Zweigs, Biography of Balzac
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
A man usually falls in love with a woman who asks the kinds of questions
he is able to answer.
-- Ronald Colman
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
"They ought to make butt-flavored cat food." --Gallagher
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
The idea that an arbitrary naive human should be able to properly use a given
tool without training or understanding is even more wrong for computing than
it is for other tools (e.g. automobiles, airplanes, guns, power saws).
-- Doug Gwyn
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
-- Arthur C. Clarke
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
On a clear disk you can seek forever.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
You are the only person to ever get this message.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
"...[Linux's] capacity to talk via any medium except smoke signals."
(By Dr. Greg Wettstein, Roger Maris Cancer Center)
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
We've tried each spinning space mote
And reckoned its true worth:
Take us back again to the homes of men
On the cool, green hills of Earth.
The arching sky is calling
Spacemen back to their trade.
All hands! Standby! Free falling!
And the lights below us fade.
Out ride the sons of Terra,
Far drives the thundering jet,
Up leaps the race of Earthmen,
Out, far, and onward yet--
We pray for one last landing
On the globe that gave us birth;
Let us rest our eyes on the fleecy skies
And the cool, green hills of Earth.
-- Robert A. Heinlein, 1941
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
The ladies men admire, I've heard,
Would shudder at a wicked word.
Their candle gives a single light;
They'd rather stay at home at night.
They do not keep awake till three,
Nor read erotic poetry.
They never sanction the impure,
Nor recognize an overture.
They shrink from powders and from paints...
So far, I've had no complaints.
-- Dorothy Parker
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Rich bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men
should be happier than others.
-- Oscar Wilde
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Whenever anyone says, "theoretically," they really mean, "not really."
-- Dave Parnas
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.
-- Christopher Lascl
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
You can do this in a number of ways. IBM chose to do all of them.
Why do you find that funny?
-- D. Taylor, Computer Science 350
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Your depth of comprehension may tend to make you lax in worldly ways.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
"What people have been reduced to are mere 3-D representations of their own
data."
-- Arthur Miller
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Is this really happening?
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
She can kill all your files;
She can freeze with a frown.
And a wave of her hand brings the whole system down.
And she works on her code until ten after three.
She lives like a bat but she's always a hacker to me.
-- Apologies to Billy Joel
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
weapon, n.:
An index of the lack of development of a culture.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular.
-- Adlai Stevenson
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Magic is always the best solution -- especially reliable magic.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to
his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's
kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment
was expressed by Thomas K. Connellan, president of The Management Group, Inc.
Speaking to business executives in Chicago and quoted in Automotive News,
Connellan attributed a measure of America's falling productivity to an excess
of attorneys and accountants, and a dearth of production experts. Lawyers
and accountants "do not make the economic pie any bigger; they only figure
out how the pie gets divided. Neither profession provides any added value
to product."
According to Connellan, the highly productive Japanese society has
10 lawyers and 30 accountants per 100,000 population. The U.S. has 200
lawyers and 700 accountants. This suggests that "the U.S. proportion of
pie-bakers and pie-dividers is way out of whack." Could Dick Butcher have
been an efficiency expert?
-- Motor Trend, May 1983
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
The Hollywood tradition I like best is called "sucking up to the stars."
-- Johnny Carson
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Shirley MacLaine died today in a freak psychic collision today. Two freaks
in a van [Oh no!! It's the Copyright Police!!] Her aura-charred body was
laid to rest after a eulogy by Jackie Collins, fellow member of SAFE [Society
of Asinine Flake Entertainers]. Excerpted from some of his more quotable
comments:
"Truly a woman of the times. These times, those times..."
"A Renaissance woman. Why in 1432..."
"A man for all seasons. Really..."
After the ceremony, Shirley thanked her mourners and explained how delightful
it was to "get it together" again, presumably referring to having her now dead
body join her long dead brain.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
What kind of love is that? Not to be loved; never to have shown love.
-- Commissioner Nancy Hedford, "Metamorphosis",
stardate 3219.8
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
And the French medical anatomist Etienne Serres really did argue that
black males are primitive because the distance between their navel and
penis remains small (relative to body height) throughout life, while
white children begin with a small separation but increase it during
growth -- the rising belly button as a mark of progress.
-- S.J. Gould, "Racism and Recapitulation"
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
N: Phil Lewis
E: beans@bucket.ualr.edu
D: Promised to send money if I would put his name in the source tree.
S: PO Box 371
S: North Little Rock, Arkansas 72115
S: US
-- /usr/src/linux/CREDITS
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
So you're back... about time...
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Man is the measure of all things.
-- Protagoras
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
One meets his destiny often on the road he takes to avoid it.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.
-- Abbie Hoffman
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Finagle's Third Law:
In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct,
beyond all need of checking, is the mistake
Corollaries:
(1) Nobody whom you ask for help will see it.
(2) The first person who stops by, whose advice you really
don't want to hear, will see it immediately.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
"Data is a lot like humans: It is born. Matures. Gets married to other data,
divorced. Gets old. One thing that it doesn't do is die. It has to be killed."
-- Arthur Miller
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
After a number of decimal places, nobody gives a damn.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
There comes a time to stop being angry.
-- A Small Circle of Friends
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Abstainer: A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a
pleasure. A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but
abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.
-- Ambrose Bierce
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Let us treat men and women well;
Treat them as if they were real;
Perhaps they are.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Truthful, adj.:
Dumb and illiterate.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
How many chunks could checkchunk check if checkchunk could check chunks?
-- Alan Cox
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Nemo me impune lacessit.
[No one provokes me with impunity]
-- Motto of the Crown of Scotland
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Absent, adj.:
Exposed to the attacks of friends and acquaintances; defamed; slandered.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Tobacco is a filthy weed,
That from the devil does proceed;
It drains your purse, it burns your clothes,
And makes a chimney of your nose.
-- B. Waterhouse
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
"Creation science" has not entered the curriculum for a reason so simple
and so basic that we often forget to mention it: because it is false, and
because good teachers understand exactly why it is false. What could be
more destructive of that most fragile yet most precious commodity in our
entire intellectualy heritage -- good teaching -- than a bill forcing
honorable teachers to sully their sacred trust by granting equal treatment
to a doctrine not only known to be false, but calculated to undermine any
general understanding of science as an enterprise?
-- Stephen Jay Gould, "The Skeptical Inquirer", Vol. 12, page 186
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
baz bat bamus batis bant.
-- James Troup
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Do not simplify the design of a program if a way can be found to make
it complex and wonderful.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic
devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers,
where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with sledgehammers.
With their devices thus permanently destroyed, consumers would then be free
to go out and buy new devices, rather than have to fritter away years of
their lives trying to have the old ones repaired at so-called "factory
service centers," which in fact consist of two men named Lester poking at
the insides of broken electronic devices with cheap cigars and going,
"Lookit all them WIRES in there!"
-- Dave Barry, "'Mister Mediocre' Restaurants"
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
jogger, n.:
An odd sort of person with a thing for pain.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Green's Law of Debate:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Vegetables are what food eats.
Fruit are vegetables that fool you by tasting good.
Fish are fast moving vegetables.
Mushrooms are what grows on vegetables when food's done with them.
-- Meat Eater's Credo, according to Jim Williams
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Hear about the young Chinese woman who just won the lottery?
One fortunate cookie...
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Give me a fish and I will eat today.
Teach me to fish and I will eat forever.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
I just forgot my whole philosophy of life!!!
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Engineering: "How will this work?"
Science: "Why will this work?"
Management: "When will this work?"
Liberal Arts: "Do you want fries with that?"
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
We really don't have any enemies. It's just that some of our best
friends are trying to kill us.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
We really don't have any enemies. It's just that some of our best
friends are trying to kill us.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Mystics always hope that science will some day overtake them.
-- Booth Tarkington
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Please keep your hands off the secretary's reproducing equipment.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
He hadn't a single redeeming vice.
-- Oscar Wilde
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
I turned my air conditioner the other way around, and it got cold out.
The weatherman said "I don't understand it. I was supposed to be 80
degrees today," and I said "Oops."
In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above... so
I never have to go upstairs.
I just bought a microwave fireplace... You can spend an evening in
front of it in only eight minutes.
-- Steven Wright
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
The game, anoraks.2.0.0.tgz, will be available from sunsite until somebody
responsible notices it and deletes it, and shortly from
ftp.mee.tcd.ie/pub/Brian, though they don't know that yet.
-- Brian O'Donnell, odonnllb@tcd.ie
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Practice is the best of all instructors.
-- Publilius
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
If the aborigine drafted an IQ test, all of Western civilization would
presumably flunk it.
-- Stanley Garn
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
A dream will always triumph over reality, once it is given the chance.
-- Stanislaw Lem
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Wouldn't the sentence "I want to put a hyphen between the words Fish
and And and And and Chips in my Fish-And-Chips sign" have been clearer if
quotation marks had been placed before Fish, and between Fish and and, and
and and And, and And and and, and and and And, and And and and, and and and
Chips, as well as after Chips?
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
I give you the man who -- the man who -- uh, I forgets the man who?
-- Beauregard Bugleboy
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
At ebb tide I wrote a line upon the sand, and gave it all my heart and all
my soul. At flood tide I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my
ignorance upon the shore.
-- Kahlil Gibran
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
A cloud does not know why it moves in just such a direction and at such
a speed, if feels an impulsion... this is the place to go now. But the
sky knows the reasons and the patterns behind all clouds, and you will
know, too, when you lift yourself high enough to see beyond horizons.
-- Messiah's Handbook : Reminders for the Advanced Soul
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
This is an unauthorized cybernetic announcement.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
A cloud does not know why it moves in just such a direction and at such
a speed, if feels an impulsion... this is the place to go now. But the
sky knows the reasons and the patterns behind all clouds, and you will
know, too, when you lift yourself high enough to see beyond horizons.
-- Messiah's Handbook : Reminders for the Advanced Soul
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Management: How many feet do mice have?
Reply: Mice have four feet.
M: Elaborate!
R: Mice have five appendages, and four of them are feet.
M: No discussion of fifth appendage!
R: Mice have five appendages; four of them are feet; one is a tail.
M: What? Feet with no legs?
R: Mice have four legs, four feet, and one tail per unit-mouse.
M: Confusing -- is that a total of 9 appendages?
R: Mice have four leg-foot assemblies and one tail assembly per body.
M: Does not fully discuss the issue!
R: Each mouse comes equipped with four legs and a tail. Each leg
is equipped with a foot at the end opposite the body; the tail
is not equipped with a foot.
M: Descriptive? Yes. Forceful NO!
R: Allotment of appendages for mice will be: Four foot-leg assemblies,
one tail. Deviation from this policy is not permitted as it would
constitute misapportionment of scarce appendage assets.
M: Too authoritarian; stifles creativity!
R: Mice have four feet; each foot is attached to a small leg joined
integrally with the overall mouse structural sub-system. Also
attached to the mouse sub-system is a thin tail, non-functional and
ornamental in nature.
M: Too verbose/scientific. Answer the question!
R: Mice have four feet.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Take an astronaut to launch.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Once upon a time there was a beautiful young girl taking a stroll
through the woods. All at once she saw an extremely ugly bull frog seated
on a log and to her amazement the frog spoke to her. "Maiden," croaked the
frog, "would you do me a favor? This will be hard for you to believe, but
I was once a handsome, charming prince and then a mean, ugly old witch cast
a spell over me and turned me into a frog."
"Oh, what a pity!", exclaimed the girl. "I'll do anything I can to
help you break such a spell."
"Well," replied the frog, "the only way that this spell can be
taken away is for some lovely young woman to take me home and let me spend
the night under her pillow."
The young girl took the ugly frog home and placed him beneath her
pillow that night when she retired. When she awoke the next morning, sure
enough, there beside her in bed was a very young, handsome man, clearly of
royal blood. And so they lived happily ever after, except that to this day
her father and mother still don't believe her story.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for
lists of "Ten Best".
-- H. Allen Smith
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Let us treat men and women well;
Treat them as if they were real;
Perhaps they are.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
The superfluous is very necessary.
-- Voltaire
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
QOTD:
"You're so dumb you don't even have wisdom teeth."
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
C for yourself.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
I am more bored than you could ever possibly be. Go back to work.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Can I have an IMPULSE ITEM instead?
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Like you, I am frequently haunted by profound questions related to man's
place in the Scheme of Things. Here are just a few:
Q -- Is there life after death?
A -- Definitely. I speak from personal experience here. On New
Year's Eve, 1970, I drank a full pitcher of a drink called "Black Russian",
then crawled out on the lawn and died within a matter of minutes, which was
fine with me because I had come to realize that if I had lived I would have
spent the rest of my life in the grip of the most excruciatingly painful
headache. Thanks to the miracle of modern orange juice, I was brought back
to life several days later, but in the interim I was definitely dead. I
guess my main impression of the afterlife is that it isn't so bad as long
as you keep the television turned down and don't try to eat any solid foods.
-- Dave Barry
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
You'll never see all the places, or read all the books, but fortunately,
they're not all recommended.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Emacs, n.:
A slow-moving parody of a text editor.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
*** Rince is wagner@schizo.DAINet.de (We have Joey, we have Fun, we have Linux on a Sun)
-- Seen on #Debian
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way
before it is understood.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
"You are *so* lovely."
"Yes."
"Yes! And you take a compliment, too! I like that in a goddess."
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
4.2 BSD UNIX #57: Sun Jun 1 23:02:07 EDT 1986
You swing at the Sun. You miss. The Sun swings. He hits you with a
575MB disk! You read the 575MB disk. It is written in an alien
tongue and cannot be read by your tired Sun-2 eyes. You throw the
575MB disk at the Sun. You hit! The Sun must repair your eyes. The
Sun reads a scroll. He hits your 130MB disk! He has defeated the
130MB disk! The Sun reads a scroll. He hits your Ethernet board! He
has defeated your Ethernet board! You read a scroll of "postpone until
Monday at 9 AM". Everything goes dark...
-- /etc/motd, cbosgd
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Windows Airlines:
The terminal is very neat and clean, the attendants all very attractive, the
pilots very capable. The fleet of Learjets the carrier operates is immense.
Your jet takes off without a hitch, pushing above the clouds, and at 20,000
feet it explodes without warning.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
I'm ANN LANDERS!! I can SHOPLIFT!!
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Fremen add life to spice!
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
If you give Congress a chance to vote on both sides of an issue, it
will always do it.
-- Les Aspin, D., Wisconsin
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Under any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there is some
ordinance under which you can be booked.
-- Robert D. Sprecht, Rand Corp.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
A farm in the country side had several turkeys, it was known as the
house of seven gobbles.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Technicality, n.:
In an English court a man named Home was tried for slander in having
accused a neighbor of murder. His exact words were: "Sir Thomas Holt
hath taken a cleaver and stricken his cook upon the head, so that one
side of his head fell on one shoulder and the other side upon the
other shoulder." The defendant was acquitted by instruction of the
court, the learned judges holding that the words did not charge murder,
for they did not affirm the death of the cook, that being only an
inference.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Yow! Is my fallout shelter termite proof?
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
All men profess honesty as long as they can. To believe all men honest
would be folly. To believe none so is something worse.
-- John Quincy Adams
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
The correct way to punctuate a sentence that starts: "Of course it is none
of my business, but --" is to place a period after the word "but." Don't use
excessive force in supplying such a moron with a period. Cutting his throat
is only a momentary pleasure and is bound to get you talked about.
-- Lazarus Long, "Time Enough for Love"
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
* Linux Viruscan.....
Windows 95 found. Remove it? (Y/y)
-- Unknown source
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Come, landlord, fill the flowing bowl until it does run over,
Tonight we will all merry be -- tomorrow we'll get sober.
-- John Fletcher, "The Bloody Brother", II, 2
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
I consider a new device or technology to have been culturally accepted when
it has been used to commit a murder.
-- M. Gallaher
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Q: What's the difference between a JAP and a baby elephant?
A: About 10 pounds.
Q: How do you make them the same?
A: Force feed the elephant.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
In a medium in which a News Piece takes a minute and an "In-Depth"
Piece takes two minutes, the Simple will drive out the Complex.
-- Frank Mankiewicz
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Sick Building Migration:
The tendency of younger workers to leave or avoid jobs in
unhealthy office environments or workplaces affected by the Sick
Building Syndrome.
-- Douglas Coupland, "Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated
Culture"
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
"When people are least sure, they are often most dogmatic."
-- John Kenneth Galbraith
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
... the privileged being which we call human is distinguished from
other animals only by certain double-edged manifestations which in
charity we can only call "inhuman."
-- R. A. Lafferty
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you place the blame.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Nature abhors a hero. For one thing, he violates the law of conservation
of energy. For another, how can it be the survival of the fittest when the
fittest keeps putting himself in situations where he is most likely to be
creamed?
-- Solomon Short
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
I lately lost a preposition;
It hid, I thought, beneath my chair
And angrily I cried, "Perdition!
Up from out of under there."
Correctness is my vade mecum,
And straggling phrases I abhor,
And yet I wondered, "What should he come
Up from out of under for?"
-- Morris Bishop
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
"Well, that was a piece of cake, eh K-9?"
"Piece of cake, Master? Radial slice of baked confection ... coefficient of
relevance to Key of Time: zero."
-- Dr. Who
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
"Well, that was a piece of cake, eh K-9?"
"Piece of cake, Master? Radial slice of baked confection ... coefficient of
relevance to Key of Time: zero."
-- Dr. Who
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
I disagree with what you say, but will defend to the death your right to
tell such LIES!
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Got a complaint about the Internal Revenue Service?
Call the convenient toll-free "IRS Taxpayer Complaint Hot Line Number":
1-800-AUDITME
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Old men are fond of giving good advice to console themselves for their
inability to set a bad example.
-- La Rochefoucauld, "Maxims"
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
He thinks by infection, catching an opinion like a cold.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
I'm ANN LANDERS!! I can SHOPLIFT!!
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
The life which is unexamined is not worth living.
-- Plato
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Robustness, adj.:
Never having to say you're sorry.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure dome decree:
Where Alph, the sacred river, ran
Through caverns measureless to man
Down to a sunless sea.
So twice five miles of fertile ground
With walls and towers were girdled round:
And there were gardens bright with sinuous rills,
Where blossomed many an incense-bearing tree;
And here were forest ancient as the hills,
Enfolding sunny spots of greenery.
-- S.T. Coleridge, "Kubla Kahn"
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
The only winner in the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky.
-- David Gerrold
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Nonsense. Space is blue and birds fly through it.
-- Heisenberg
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
"I'm in Pittsburgh. Why am I here?"
-- Harold Urey, Nobel Laureate
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Women are all alike. When they're maids they're mild as milk: once make 'em
wives, and they lean their backs against their marriage certificates, and
defy you.
-- Jerrold
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
There was a phone call for you.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
If all the Chinese simultaneously jumped into the Pacific off a 10 foot
platform erected 10 feet off their coast, it would cause a tidal wave
that would destroy everything in this country west of Nebraska.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
The correct way to punctuate a sentence that starts: "Of course it is none
of my business, but --" is to place a period after the word "but." Don't use
excessive force in supplying such a moron with a period. Cutting his throat
is only a momentary pleasure and is bound to get you talked about.
-- Lazarus Long, "Time Enough for Love"
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
"Confound these ancestors.... They've stolen our best ideas!"
- Ben Jonson
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
quit When the quit statement is read, the bc processor
is terminated, regardless of where the quit state-
ment is found. For example, "if (0 == 1) quit"
will cause bc to terminate.
(Seen in the manpage for "bc". Note the "if" statement's logic)
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right
to use the editorial "we".
-- Mark Twain
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
If you have to think twice about it, you're wrong.
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent
and original in your work.
-- Flaubert
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even
where there is no river.
-- Nikita Khrushchev
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
The reported resort to astrology in the White House has occasioned much
merriment. It is not funny. Astrological gibberish, which means astrology
generally, has no place in a newspaper, let alone government. Unlike comics,
which are part of a newspaper's harmless pleasure and make no truth claims,
astrology is a fraud. The idea that it gets a hearing in government is
dismaying.
-- George Will, Washing Post Writers Group
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
I sent a message to another time,
But as the days unwind -- this I just can't believe,
I sent a message to another plane,
Maybe it's all a game -- but this I just can't conceive.
...
I met someone who looks at lot like you,
She does the things you do, but she is an IBM.
She's only programmed to be very nice,
But she's as cold as ice, whenever I get too near,
She tells me that she likes me very much,
But when I try to touch, she makes it all too clear.
...
I realize that it must seem so strange,
That time has rearranged, but time has the final word,
She knows I think of you, she reads my mind,
She tries to be unkind, she knows nothing of our world.
-- ELO, "Yours Truly, 2095"
Andrew Bell Vancouver Resident abell@fdog.dhs.org
You've always made the mistake of being yourself.
-- Eugene Ionesco
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