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Re: Request for review of a package description



José L. Redrejo wrote:
> Please, keep me in cc as I'm not subscribed to this list.
 
> After #534673,  I am rewritting the description of the gambas2 packages
> and would like your comments and/or help on the text.
> 
>
> The source tarball of gambas2 creates 20 binary files. I was keeping a
> common part in every description of every binary file, and a couple of
> sentences more for each one, adding the purpose of that binary file.

Good plan.
 
[...]
> Gambas is a programing language based on a BASIC interpreter
> with object extensions, like Visual Basic(tm) (but it is NOT a clone!).

"ProgramMing" (even in en_US).  This is fine except that I'd like to
find a way of reducing the punctuation - maybe:

  Gambas is a programming language based on a BASIC interpreter with
  object extensions - like Visual Basic, though it is NOT a clone!

I've never been sure about trademark signs in package descriptions.
If we're legally obliged to acknowledge it as a Registered
trademark, we should be writing it as ®; ™ is only for unregistered
trademarks.  But do we really need to do that?  After all, MySQL and
KDE are registered trademarks too.  I Am Not A Lawyer, and I don't
even play one on debian-legal, but as I understand it, Microsoft
always need to flag their brand names with registered-trademark
signs to warn other companies "you can't sell your product under
this name".  As long as we aren't doing that, trademarks are
irrelevant - using a circle-R sign might even be counterproductive.

On the other hand maybe you're just using "TM" to call attention to
the fact that it's a commercial product; if so I'd suggest calling
it "Microsoft's Visual Basic".
 
> There are a lot of Gambas components that allow developing
> internationalized, desktop independent, database, network applications
> and even games can be developed very quickly using its RAD environment.

That list is hard to follow.  Comparing the old version I think you
mean:

  It has many components for developing internationalized,
  desktop-independent, database- and network-enabled applications.
  Even games can be developed very quickly using its RAD environment.

-- 
JBR	with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
	sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package


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