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Re: Questions regarding wording in DPN #9, #10 and #11

Hello Justin,
On Tue, Sep 30, 2008 at 10:48:56PM +0100, Justin B Rye wrote:
> Helge Kreutzmann wrote:
> > I'm currently translating those DPN and I noted a couple of phrases
> > which sound awkward to me. Since I'm not a native speaker, I'd like to
> > get the opinion of a member of this list before changeing them.

> > Here goes the list:
> > 1) Valessio Brito announced that the work for artwork and themes for
> >    the upcoming stable release of Debian GNU/Linux 5.0" Lenny has been
> >    started during DebCamp the hacking session before the annual Debian
> >    Conference.

> > 2) In the meantime and updated version of the desktop-base package has
> >    been uploaded including a new default theme as well as a second
> >    one.
> >    
> >    I'd change "and updated" to "an updated".
> I can't tell from reading this what the second one is a second one
> of.  A second theme?  A second version?  Neither of those options
> quite seems to make sense...

Since 1) is exactly the sentence before this one looking at the
context I think "theme" is right, but Tolimar should be able to
comment on this better than me.

> > 4) He especially wonders, if whether there's a similar approach for 
> >    applications using perl and CGI::Session.
> > 
> >    I'd s/, if//
> Agreed.  Also, being picky, the executable is "perl", the language
> is "Perl".

Great! Is this a general rule? 

On Tue, Sep 30, 2008 at 10:59:07PM +0100, Justin B Rye wrote:
> Justin B Rye wrote:
> >> 7) Regarding the release notes, he asks that any issues that should be
> >>    documented should be reported as bug against the release-notes
> >>    pseudo package.
> [...]
> > But that first "should" seems to be a subjunctive
> Or is it "any issues that need to be documented"?

Looking at the e-mail this one stems from
I think your second suggestions is more appropriate, but again, Tolimar 
probably can jump in more conclusivly than me.

I will apply you changes (but being short on time today, probably not
before tomorrow). Thank you very much for your review!


      Dr. Helge Kreutzmann                     debian@helgefjell.de
           Dipl.-Phys.                   http://www.helgefjell.de/debian.php
        64bit GNU powered                     gpg signed mail preferred
           Help keep free software "libre": http://www.ffii.de/

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