Hello Justin,
On Tue, Sep 30, 2008 at 10:48:56PM +0100, Justin B Rye wrote:
> Helge Kreutzmann wrote:
> > I'm currently translating those DPN and I noted a couple of phrases
> > which sound awkward to me. Since I'm not a native speaker, I'd like to
> > get the opinion of a member of this list before changeing them.
> > Here goes the list:
> > 1) Valessio Brito announced that the work for artwork and themes for
> > the upcoming stable release of Debian GNU/Linux 5.0" Lenny has been
> > started during DebCamp the hacking session before the annual Debian
> > Conference.
> > 2) In the meantime and updated version of the desktop-base package has
> > been uploaded including a new default theme as well as a second
> > one.
> >
> > I'd change "and updated" to "an updated".
>
> I can't tell from reading this what the second one is a second one
> of. A second theme? A second version? Neither of those options
> quite seems to make sense...
Since 1) is exactly the sentence before this one looking at the
context I think "theme" is right, but Tolimar should be able to
comment on this better than me.
> > 4) He especially wonders, if whether there's a similar approach for
> > applications using perl and CGI::Session.
> >
> > I'd s/, if//
>
> Agreed. Also, being picky, the executable is "perl", the language
> is "Perl".
Great! Is this a general rule?
On Tue, Sep 30, 2008 at 10:59:07PM +0100, Justin B Rye wrote:
> Justin B Rye wrote:
> >> 7) Regarding the release notes, he asks that any issues that should be
> >> documented should be reported as bug against the release-notes
> >> pseudo package.
> [...]
> > But that first "should" seems to be a subjunctive
>
> Or is it "any issues that need to be documented"?
Looking at the e-mail this one stems from
http://lists.debian.org/debian-devel-announce/2008/09/msg00000.html
I think your second suggestions is more appropriate, but again, Tolimar
probably can jump in more conclusivly than me.
I will apply you changes (but being short on time today, probably not
before tomorrow). Thank you very much for your review!
Greetings
Helge
--
Dr. Helge Kreutzmann debian@helgefjell.de
Dipl.-Phys. http://www.helgefjell.de/debian.php
64bit GNU powered gpg signed mail preferred
Help keep free software "libre": http://www.ffii.de/
Attachment:
signature.asc
Description: Digital signature