Hello,
I'm currently translating those DPN and I noted a couple of phrases
which sound awkward to me. Since I'm not a native speaker, I'd like to
get the opinion of a member of this list before changeing them.
Here goes the list:
1) Valessio Brito announced that the work for artwork and themes for
the upcoming stable release of Debian GNU/Linux 5.0" Lenny has been
started during DebCamp the hacking session before the annual Debian
Conference.
Besides the missing ", is there a comma after DebCamp?
2) In the meantime and updated version of the desktop-base package has
been uploaded including a new default theme as well as a second
one.
I'd change "and updated" to "an updated".
3) The main features are, that these Live images are build 100%
with packages in Debians main section and different flavours (GNOME,
KDE and Xfce as well as a small image without graphical environment.
First, I'd remove the comma between "are" and "that", then I'd add
a closing bracket at the end of the sentence (before the full
stop), but even then I think the sentence does not sound
gramatically correct.
4) He especially wonders, if whether there's a similar approach for
applications using perl and CGI::Session.
I'd s/, if//
5) Since he usually turns that feature of, which seems to him only
slow apt down and wastes a lot of bandwidth of our mirror network.
First s/of/off/, but still the sentence sounds strange to me.
Somehow the "since" does not fit, and s/slow/to slow/ looks missing
(but would it then be "to waste" as well?).
6) This announcement lead to the questions regarding the file transfer
between different hosts of the Debian infrastructure.
Is "the questions" ok? (I'd simply use "questions")
7) Regarding the release notes, he asks that any issues that should be
documented should be reported as bug against the release-notes
pseudo package.
Wouldn't that be "as bugs" (plural), or even better "as a bug"?
Thanks for the help!
Greetings
Helge
--
Dr. Helge Kreutzmann debian@helgefjell.de
Dipl.-Phys. http://www.helgefjell.de/debian.php
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