> > Rise of the Triad is a high quality, fast scrolling first-person perspective > > - 3D action game. It has destructive enemies and lots of them, an arsenal of > > + 3D action game. It includes a lot of destructive enemies, an arsenal of > > weapons from simple pistols to missile launchers, life-preserving armor, traps > > - and ambushes galore. It puts most of the other DOOM wannabes to shame. > > + and ambushes galore. > > This is actually a quote, so instead of amending it we should > attribute it. (But I agree we should snip the comparison with its > early-nineties rivals.) Well, is really "It has destructive enemies and a lot of them" good English? My replacement proposal is probably not very good, but I'd really like to see something else than this sentence which is spoken language, not written language, for me. > > > This package contains no data files but may automatically download the > > - shareware data files from the internet and install them into your system. > > + shareware data files from the Internet and install them on the system. > > This use of "may" it sounds like a warning. And I'd keep the > original "your system", though "on" it sounds better than "into" it. > (Or to make it more impersonal the simple approach would be to say > "...can automatically download and install the shareware data files > from the Internet".) I like your second proposal and I'm really happy to leanr that, at least for once, I did choose the correct preposition ("on the system" instead of "into the system")...:-) New control file attached. The first paragraph may still need to be rewritten.
Source: rott Section: contrib/games Priority: optional Maintainer: Fabian Greffrath <fabian@debian-unofficial.org> Build-Depends: debhelper (>= 5), dpatch, libsdl1.2-dev, libsdl-mixer1.2-dev Standards-Version: 3.7.2 Package: rott Architecture: any Depends: ${shlibs:Depends}, ${misc:Depends}, wget, unzip Description: Rise of the Triad -- The HUNT Begins Rise of the Triad is a high quality, fast scrolling first-person perspective 3D action game. It includes a lot of destructive enemies, an arsenal of weapons from simple pistols to missile launchers, life-preserving armor, traps and ambushes galore. . WARNING: Rise of the Triad features wanton and gratuitous violence. . Homepages: <http://icculus.org/rott/>, <http://www.3drealms.com/rott/> . This package contains no data files but can install the shareware data files from the Internet.
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