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Re: Help in proof-reading



On Mon, Oct 28, 2002 at 09:44:11AM -0500, Colin Walters wrote:
> --- -	2002-10-28 09:43:10.000000000 -0500
> +++ /tmp/clean.sgml.new	2002-10-28 09:42:35.000000000 -0500
> @@ -1,8 +1,8 @@
>  <sect id="clean">Removing unused package files: apt-get clean and autoclean
>  <p>
>  When you install a package APT retrieves from the hosts listed in
> -/etc/sources.list the needed files, store it in a local repository
> -(<file>/var/cache/apt/archives/</file>), and then proceed with
> +/etc/sources.list the needed files, stores it in a local repository
> +(<file>/var/cache/apt/archives/</file>), and then proceeds with
>  installation, see <ref id="install">.
>  <p>
>  In long time the local repository could grow and occupy a lot of disk space.

I'd go slightly further (switch the order of noun phrases in the first
clause, and s/it/them/ in the second):

--- - 2002-10-28 09:43:10.000000000 -0500
+++ /tmp/clean.sgml.new       2002-10-28 09:42:35.000000000 -0500
@@ -1,8 +1,8 @@
 <sect id="clean">Removing unused package files: apt-get clean and
 autoclean
 <p>
-When you install a package APT retrieves from the hosts listed in
-/etc/sources.list the needed files, store it in a local repository
-(<file>/var/cache/apt/archives/</file>), and then proceed with
+When you install a package APT retrieves the needed files from the
+hosts listed in /etc/sources.list, stores them in a local repository
+(<file>/var/cache/apt/archives/</file>), and then proceeds with
 installation, see <ref id="install">.
 <p>
 In long time the local repository could grow and occupy a lot of disk
 space.

-- 
Colin Watson                                  [cjwatson@flatline.org.uk]



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