Re: debian-faq: Patch2 to improve wording or meaning, remove superfluous words, consistentency ...
Hi,
Beatrice Torracca <beatricet@libero.it> wrote:
> On Tuesday 29 March 2016, at 19:20 +0200, Holger Wansing wrote:
>
> Hi,
>
> thanks for working on updating this and other documents. I have some minor comments:
>
> > ===================================================================
> > --- ftparchives.sgml (Revision 10939)
> > +++ ftparchives.sgml (Arbeitskopie)
> > @@ -61,14 +61,14 @@
> > <item><em>sarge</em> was the sergeant of the Green Plastic Army Men,
> > <item><em>etch</em> was the toy blackboard (Etch-a-Sketch),
> > <item><em>lenny</em> was the toy binoculars,
> > - <item><em>squeeze</em> was the name for the three-eyed aliens,
> > - <item><em>wheezy</em> was the name of the rubber toy penguin with
> > + <item><em>squeeze</em> was the three-eyed aliens,
>
> I think this should be either "squeeze was the name of the three-eyed
> aliens" or "squeeze were the three-eyed aliens" , but I think the first
> one sounds better.
Yes, also proposed by Justin.
> > Index: pkgtools.sgml
> > ===================================================================
> > --- pkgtools.sgml (Revision 10939)
> > +++ pkgtools.sgml (Arbeitskopie)
> > @@ -64,7 +64,7 @@
>
> > <item>Execute the command <tt>dpkg-split --split foo.deb</tt>.
> > - This will produce N files each of approximately 460 KBytes long in the
> > + This will produce N files each of approximately 460 KBytes file size in the
> > current directory.
>
> The part "file size" sounds strange to me (not a English native
> speaker). I would simply say "of approximately 460 KBytes", or "N files
> each with a file size of approximately 460 KByte" (but it is maybe an
> unnecessary complication) or "each with an approximate size of 460 KBytes".
ok: N files each with a file size of approximately 460 KByte
>
> > Index: uptodate.sgml
> > ===================================================================
> > --- uptodate.sgml (Revision 10939)
> > +++ uptodate.sgml (Arbeitskopie)
> > @@ -57,7 +57,7 @@
> >
> > <p>Yes. You can use <prgn>cron-apt</prgn>, this tool updates the system at
> > regular interval by using a cron job. By default it just updates the package
> > -list and downloads new packages without installing.
> > +list and downloads new packages, but without installing.
> >
>
> I think it is more common to use the plural "intervals" in the phrase
> "at regular intervals". Also maybe adding "them" as in "but without installing them."?
Yes.
Thanks
Holger
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