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Re: installation guide [Was: Re: Change templates: CD -> installation medium - proposal #2 ]



Hi,

Justin B Rye <justin.byam.rye@gmail.com> wrote:
> (In en/appendix/chroot-install.xml:)
>   - If you have a &releasename; &debian-gnu; CD mounted at
>   + If you have a &releasename; &debian-gnu; installation medium mounted at
>     <filename>/cdrom</filename>, you could substitute a file URL instead
>     of the http URL: <userinput>file:/cdrom/debian/</userinput>
> 
> In English, "a medium" means a *category* of information-propagating
> mechanism (such as radio or print), not one individual USB thumbdrive
> or whatever.  That would have to be an "item of media" or similar; but
> then again isn't it also true to say that the *image* is mounted on
> the /cdrom mountpoint?
> 
> In en/boot-installer/parameters.xml:
>    By default, before rebooting, &d-i; automatically ejects the optical
>    media used during the installation. This can be unnecessary if the system
>  - does not automatically boot off the CD. In some cases it may even be
>  + does not automatically boot off such disc. In some cases it may even be
>    undesirable, for example if the optical drive cannot reinsert the media
>    itself and the user is not there to do it manually. Many slot loading,
>    slim-line, and caddy style drives cannot reload media automatically.
> 
> "Such" plus singular doesn't work like that in English.  Here I'd
> rephrase it as just "if the system will not automatically boot off
> it", but in other cases you need "such a...".  "Such media" is okay,
> though!
> 
> (in en/boot-installer/trouble.xml:)
>  - Configure network:      [ ]
>  - Detect CD:
>  - Load installer modules: [ ]
> [...]
>  + Configure network:          [ ]
>  + Detect installation medium: [ ]
>  + Load installer modules:     [ ]
> 
> I'd recommend just "Detect media:" - after all, the question is
> whether it *ever* succeeded on *any* try, right?

Yes.

> (in en/boot-installer/x86.xml:)
>  - obtain CD-ROM/DVD-ROM<phrase condition="bootable-usb"> or USB memory
>  - stick</phrase> installation media as described in
>  + obtain installation media as described in
>    <xref linkend="official-cdrom"/><phrase condition="bootable-usb"> respective
>    <xref linkend="boot-usb-files"/></phrase> or
> 
> Not a flaw in your patch, but that use of "respective" is horribly
> ungrammatical in English... it's hard to tell what it *should* be here
> without more context, but usually the answer is either "or" or
> nothing.
> 
> (en/howto/installation-howto.xml:)
>    Now sit back while debian-installer detects some of your hardware, and
>  - loads the rest of itself from CD, USB, etc.
>  + loads the rest of itself from the installation medium.
> 
> "Medium" is the wrong thing, "item of media" would be very clunky, and
> we can't get away with plural "media" because you can't sit back if
> you're swapping discs, so this is a tricky one.  Maybe it could say:
> 
>    loads the rest of the installation image.
> 
> (en/install-methods/official-cdrom.xml:)
>  - By far the easiest way to install &debian-gnu; is from an Official
>  - &debian; CD/DVD-ROM Set. You can buy a set from a vendor (see the
>  + By far the easiest way to install &debian-gnu; is from a set of official
>  + &debian; installation images. You can buy a set of CD/DVD from a vendor (see the
> 
> A new and different number-agreement glitch: "set of CDs/DVDs".
> 
>  [...]
>  - detailed instructions). If you have a &debian; CD/DVD set and CDs/DVDs are
>  + detailed instructions). If you have such optical installation media and those media are
>    bootable on your machine<phrase arch="x86">, which is the case on all
> 
> "Such" works here, but "those media" is a bit wobbly.  I'd shorten it to
> 
>    detailed instructions). If you have such optical installation media, and they are
> 
>  [...]
>  - If you don't have a CD set, then you will need to download the
>  + If you don't have a installation media set, then you will need to download the
> 
> A nice easy-to-fix one here: that's *an* installation media set.

I applied everything as you suggested, thanks for the quick review!


Holger


> I was planning to carry on and find all the other places where fixes
> are needed, but I'll have to come back to it.


-- 
Holger Wansing <hwansing@mailbox.org>
PGP-Fingerprint: 496A C6E8 1442 4B34 8508  3529 59F1 87CA 156E B076


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