On Wed, Sep 10, 2008 at 11:13:15AM +0200, Frans Pop wrote:
> Comments start with 'FJP:'.
Thanks for your review. :)
> +++ b/manual/debian/changelog
> + * Explicitely mention than preseeded keymaps must be known to d-i.
> + Closes: #493720
>
> FJP: 'Explicitly mention that' (2 errors)
Fixed.
> +++ b/manual/en/appendix/preseed.xml
> +be known to the debian-installer for the selected keyboard architecture.
>
> FJP: Please use '&d-i;' for debian-installer.
Fixed.
> +++ b/manual/en/appendix/preseed.xml
> +# The same can be applied to previous software RAID array:
> +d-i parman-md/device_remove_md boolean true
>
> FJP: s/can be applied/applies to/ s/previous/pre-existing/
Fixed.
> +++ b/manual/en/preface.xml
> - <title>Installing &debian; &release; For &architecture;</title>
> + <title>Installing &debian; &release; for &architecture;</title>
> <para>
>
> FJP: I'm personally no fan of the (I think American) way of capitalizing
> headers, but it is something that is done all over the place in the
> manual (though inconsistently).
> I would not change just one instance of it and I would also not do it
> *now*; it just creates needless work for translators.
Dropped.
> +++ b/manual/en/hardware/supported/i386.xml
> @@ -69,10 +69,8 @@ be easily used by most Debian packages; now they can.
>
> The system bus is the part of the motherboard which allows the CPU to
> communicate with peripherals such as storage devices. Your computer
> -must use the ISA, EISA, PCI, the Microchannel Architecture (MCA, used
> -in IBM's PS/2 line), or VESA Local Bus (VLB, sometimes called the VL
> -bus). Essentially all personal computers sold in recent years use one
> -of these.
> +must use the ISA, EISA, PCI, PCIe. Essentially all personal computers sold in
> +recent years use one of these.
>
> FJP: Are the other busses definitely no longer supported? If they still
> are I think there should be a second para mentioning them.
As far as I have found, they are not mentioned in current kernel
configuration files.
> +++ b/manual/en/hardware/memory-disk-requirements.xml
> Installation images that support the graphical installer require more
> memory than images that support only the textual installer and should
> -not be used on systems with less than &minimum-memory; of memory. If
> +not be used on systems with less than &minimum-memory-gtk; of memory. If
> there is a choice between booting the regular and the graphical installer,
> the former should be selected.
>
> FJP: This change is *not* correct! A g-i image can be used perfectly well
> on systems with less than 96MB RAM, you just won't get the graphical
> frontend. This text is about systems with so little memory that the
> initrd cannot be loaded, which is below &minimum-memory;.
Thanks for explaining the difference. Dropped.
> +++ b/manual/en/hardware/installation-media.xml
> @@ -52,7 +52,7 @@ up by other means; see <xref linkend="boot-installer"/>.
> -Both SCSI and IDE/ATAPI CD-ROMs are supported. The <ulink
> +SCSI, SATA and IDE/ATAPI CD-ROMs are supported. The <ulink
>
> FJP: For all these changes: if SATA is added then why not PATA?
> I'm personally still not 100% clear about the exact relationship
> between SATA, PATA and IDE, but if we change this we should do it
> properly.
As far as I understand, SATA is based on the ATA (also called IDE)
command set, so Serial ATA devices are actually IDE devices. To mark the
difference with the previous connectors which use _p_arallel signaling,
those are called PATA.
Except that the previous term never got caught by hardware resellers, at
least in my area. They call newer devices SATA and older IDE.
In any cases, here's an updated version mentioning PATA as well:
--- 8< ---
commit 04bba95c78b368d92e0438e8f27bbd107b4e420a
Author: Jérémy Bobbio <lunar@debian.org>
Date: Sun Aug 24 10:39:25 2008 +0000
Mention SATA and PATA along IDE
diff --git a/manual/en/hardware/installation-media.xml b/manual/en/hardware/installation-media.xml
index 93fe9c2..3347111 100644
--- a/manual/en/hardware/installation-media.xml
+++ b/manual/en/hardware/installation-media.xml
@@ -52,7 +52,7 @@ up by other means; see <xref linkend="boot-installer"/>.
</para><para arch="x86">
-Both SCSI and IDE/ATAPI CD-ROMs are supported. The <ulink
+SCSI, SATA and IDE/ATAPI CD-ROMs are supported. The <ulink
url="&url-cd-howto;">Linux CD-ROM HOWTO</ulink> contains in-depth information
on using CD-ROMs with Linux.
@@ -182,15 +182,15 @@ installed on the widest array of hardware.
</para><para arch="x86">
Generally, the Debian installation system includes support for floppies,
-IDE drives, IDE floppies, parallel port IDE devices, SCSI controllers and
-drives, USB, and FireWire. The supported file systems include FAT,
-Win-32 FAT extensions (VFAT) and NTFS.
+IDE (also known as PATA) drives, IDE floppies, parallel port IDE devices, SATA
+and SCSI controllers and drives, USB, and FireWire. The supported file systems
+include FAT, Win-32 FAT extensions (VFAT) and NTFS.
</para><para arch="i386">
Disk interfaces that emulate the <quote>AT</quote> hard disk interface
-— often called MFM, RLL, IDE, or ATA — are supported. SCSI disk
-controllers from many different manufacturers are supported. See the
+— often called MFM, RLL, IDE, or PATA — are supported. SATA and
+SCSI disk controllers from many different manufacturers are supported. See the
<ulink url="&url-hardware-howto;">Linux Hardware Compatibility HOWTO</ulink>
for more details.
diff --git a/manual/en/preparing/needed-info.xml b/manual/en/preparing/needed-info.xml
index 04574e7..7589751 100644
--- a/manual/en/preparing/needed-info.xml
+++ b/manual/en/preparing/needed-info.xml
@@ -216,7 +216,7 @@ networking and e-mail.
<row arch="not-s390"><entry>Their order on the system.</entry></row>
<!-- "not-m68k;not-s390" would really turn out to be everything... -->
<row arch="alpha;arm;hppa;x86;ia64;mips;mipsel;powerpc;sparc">
- <entry>Whether IDE or SCSI (most computers are IDE).</entry>
+ <entry>Whether IDE (also known as PATA), SATA or SCSI.</entry>
</row>
<row arch="m68k">
<entry>Whether IDE or SCSI (most m68k computers are SCSI).</entry>
--- >8 ---
> commit 886f1bd1ad4ca781491d1746c8e5ecd21c9bbd2d
> Author: J�r�my Bobbio <lunar@debian.org>
> Date: Sun Aug 24 14:05:46 2008 +0200
>
> Emphase that not all CDs are DVDs are needed.
>
> FJP: 'Emphasize' ?
*ahem* that was en_FR. Fixed.
> FJP: I don't really like making larger parts of sentences italic like this.
How about:
--- 8< ---
commit 01c75db67a307bae96b334f33e2ac82308be4119
Author: Jérémy Bobbio <lunar@debian.org>
Date: Sun Aug 24 14:05:46 2008 +0200
Emphazise that not all CDs are DVDs are needed.
diff --git a/manual/en/install-methods/official-cdrom.xml b/manual/en/install-methods/official-cdrom.xml
index 3b8c449..b585ba5 100644
--- a/manual/en/install-methods/official-cdrom.xml
+++ b/manual/en/install-methods/official-cdrom.xml
@@ -15,10 +15,11 @@ detailed instructions). If you have a Debian CD set and CDs are
bootable on your machine, you can skip right to
<xref linkend="boot-installer"/>; much effort has been expended to ensure
the files most people need are there on the CD. Although a full set of
-binary packages requires several CDs, it is unlikely you will need
+binary packages requires several CDs, it is <emphasis>unlikely</emphasis> you will need
packages on the third CD and above. You may also consider using the
DVD version, which saves a lot of space on your shelf and you avoid
-the CD shuffling marathon.
+the CD shuffling marathon. Likewise, the first DVD should be
+<emphasis>sufficient</emphasis> for most installations.
</para><para>
--- >8 ---
> +++ b/manual/en/using-d-i/using-d-i.xml
> -The normal installer display is character-based (as opposed to the now
> +The usual installer display is character-based (as opposed to the now
>
> FJP: If don't think this needs changing. In fact, both are probably not
> what we want to say...
How about:
--- 8< ---
commit 9fd6383f5c6e5f8ff5ce0f229f1292ea669c2b91
Author: Jérémy Bobbio <lunar@debian.org>
Date: Thu Sep 11 12:07:05 2008 +0000
Update d-i-intro now that we have a graphical frontend
diff --git a/manual/en/using-d-i/using-d-i.xml b/manual/en/using-d-i/using-d-i.xml
index 9c6e410..f450a6e 100644
--- a/manual/en/using-d-i/using-d-i.xml
+++ b/manual/en/using-d-i/using-d-i.xml
@@ -56,11 +56,17 @@ they are installed, you will need to start the installer in
the boot argument <userinput>priority=low</userinput>.
Expert mode gives you full control over &d-i;.
+</para><para condition="gtk">
+
+When selected during the initial boot menu, a graphical interface can be used
+to perform the installation. For more information about the graphical
+installer, please refer to <xref linkend="graphical"/>.
+
</para><para>
-The usual installer display is character-based (as opposed to the now
-more familiar graphical interface). The mouse is not operational in
-this environment. Here are the keys you can use to navigate within the
+When the installation is performed using the character-based display (as
+opposed to the now more familiar graphical interface), the mouse will not
+be operational. Here are the keys you can use to navigate within the
various dialogs. The <keycap>Tab</keycap> or <keycap>right</keycap>
arrow keys move <quote>forward</quote>, and the <keycombo> <keycap>Shift</keycap>
<keycap>Tab</keycap> </keycombo> or <keycap>left</keycap> arrow keys
--- >8 ---
> -<xref linkend="partitioning" /> has more information about partitioning.
> +<xref linkend="partitioning" /> has more information about partitioning and
> +<xref linkend="partman-manual" /> more details on how to use the partitioner.
>
> FJP: s/more/has more/
> Maybe make this last sentence a separate para?
Would the following be better?
--- 8< ---
commit 02ab7e5ef96d1bcc98eed703fa0f1c1e48635aea
Author: Jérémy Bobbio <lunar@debian.org>
Date: Sun Aug 24 15:41:13 2008 +0200
Add references to partman-{auto,manual} in howto
diff --git a/manual/en/howto/installation-howto.xml b/manual/en/howto/installation-howto.xml
index 01491ad..2c66862 100644
--- a/manual/en/howto/installation-howto.xml
+++ b/manual/en/howto/installation-howto.xml
@@ -249,7 +249,7 @@ installer will only ask to select one if a country has multiple zones.
Now it is time to partition your disks. First you will be given the
opportunity to automatically partition either an entire drive, or available
-free space on a drive (guided partitioning).
+free space on a drive (see <xref linkend="partman-auto" />).
This is recommended for new users or anyone in a hurry. If you do not want
to autopartition, choose <guimenuitem>Manual</guimenuitem> from the menu.
@@ -269,6 +269,8 @@ delete it. If you did automatic partitioning, you should just be able to choose
from the menu to use what it set up. Remember to assign at least one partition
for swap space and to mount a partition on <filename>/</filename>.
<xref linkend="partitioning" /> has more information about partitioning.
+For more details on how to use the partitioner, please refer to
+<xref linkend="partman-manual" />.
</para><para>
--- >8 ---
Cheers,
--
Jérémy Bobbio .''`.
lunar@debian.org : :Ⓐ : # apt-get install anarchism
`. `'`
`-
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