On Sunday 24 August 2008, Jérémy Bobbio wrote:
> Attached you will find some updates that I would like to make to the
> installation guide. Reviews welcome.
Comments start with 'FJP:'.
If there is no comment for a change I'm fine with applying it.
General comment: please always be aware that the manual has translations.
Small changes cause a lot of work for many people. Often it is just not
worth it and needless changes should especially be avoided close to a
release. Cleanups and major rewrites are fine, but please plan them for
just _after_ a release.
BTW, someone will need to take care of a release of the manual (string
freeze, call for translations, check of translations to include, upload,
migration to testing).
+++ b/manual/debian/changelog
+ * Explicitely mention than preseeded keymaps must be known to d-i.
+ Closes: #493720
FJP: 'Explicitly mention that' (2 errors)
+++ b/manual/en/appendix/preseed.xml
+be known to the debian-installer for the selected keyboard architecture.
FJP: Please use '&d-i;' for debian-installer.
+++ b/manual/en/appendix/preseed.xml
+# The same can be applied to previous software RAID array:
+d-i parman-md/device_remove_md boolean true
FJP: s/can be applied/applies to/ s/previous/pre-existing/
+++ b/manual/en/preface.xml
- <title>Installing &debian; &release; For &architecture;</title>
+ <title>Installing &debian; &release; for &architecture;</title>
<para>
FJP: I'm personally no fan of the (I think American) way of capitalizing
headers, but it is something that is done all over the place in the
manual (though inconsistently).
I would not change just one instance of it and I would also not do it
*now*; it just creates needless work for translators.
+++ b/manual/en/hardware/supported/i386.xml
@@ -69,10 +69,8 @@ be easily used by most Debian packages; now they can.
The system bus is the part of the motherboard which allows the CPU to
communicate with peripherals such as storage devices. Your computer
-must use the ISA, EISA, PCI, the Microchannel Architecture (MCA, used
-in IBM's PS/2 line), or VESA Local Bus (VLB, sometimes called the VL
-bus). Essentially all personal computers sold in recent years use one
-of these.
+must use the ISA, EISA, PCI, PCIe. Essentially all personal computers sold in
+recent years use one of these.
FJP: Are the other busses definitely no longer supported? If they still
are I think there should be a second para mentioning them.
+++ b/manual/en/hardware/memory-disk-requirements.xml
Installation images that support the graphical installer require more
memory than images that support only the textual installer and should
-not be used on systems with less than &minimum-memory; of memory. If
+not be used on systems with less than &minimum-memory-gtk; of memory. If
there is a choice between booting the regular and the graphical installer,
the former should be selected.
FJP: This change is *not* correct! A g-i image can be used perfectly well
on systems with less than 96MB RAM, you just won't get the graphical
frontend. This text is about systems with so little memory that the
initrd cannot be loaded, which is below &minimum-memory;.
+++ b/manual/en/hardware/installation-media.xml
@@ -52,7 +52,7 @@ up by other means; see <xref linkend="boot-installer"/>.
-Both SCSI and IDE/ATAPI CD-ROMs are supported. The <ulink
+SCSI, SATA and IDE/ATAPI CD-ROMs are supported. The <ulink
FJP: For all these changes: if SATA is added then why not PATA?
I'm personally still not 100% clear about the exact relationship
between SATA, PATA and IDE, but if we change this we should do it
properly.
+++ b/manual/en/preparing/needed-info.xml
@@ -216,7 +216,7 @@ networking and e-mail.
- <entry>Whether IDE or SCSI (most computers are IDE).</entry>
+ <entry>Whether IDE, SATA or SCSI (most computers are IDE).</entry>
FJP: That last comment between brackets may not even be true anymore, at
least not for new systems.
commit 886f1bd1ad4ca781491d1746c8e5ecd21c9bbd2d
Author: J�r�my Bobbio <lunar@debian.org>
Date: Sun Aug 24 14:05:46 2008 +0200
Emphase that not all CDs are DVDs are needed.
FJP: 'Emphasize' ?
+++ b/manual/en/install-methods/official-cdrom.xml
@@ -15,10 +15,11 @@ detailed instructions). If you have a Debian CD set and CDs are
bootable on your machine, you can skip right to
<xref linkend="boot-installer"/>; much effort has been expended to ensure
the files most people need are there on the CD. Although a full set of
-binary packages requires several CDs, it is unlikely you will need
-packages on the third CD and above. You may also consider using the
+binary packages requires several CDs, <emphasis>it is unlikely you will need
+packages on the third CD and above</emphasis>. You may also consider using the
DVD version, which saves a lot of space on your shelf and you avoid
-the CD shuffling marathon.
+the CD shuffling marathon. Likewise, the <emphasis>first DVD should be
+sufficient for most installations</emphasis>.
FJP: I don't really like making larger parts of sentences italic like this.
+++ b/manual/en/using-d-i/using-d-i.xml
-The normal installer display is character-based (as opposed to the now
+The usual installer display is character-based (as opposed to the now
FJP: If don't think this needs changing. In fact, both are probably not
what we want to say...
+++ b/manual/en/using-d-i/modules/pkgsel.xml
-Web server: <classname>apache</classname>.
+Web server: <classname>apache2</classname>.
FJP: One important update that needs to be done before the release is the
task sizes!
+++ b/manual/en/howto/installation-howto.xml
Now it is time to partition your disks. First you will be given the
opportunity to automatically partition either an entire drive, or available
-free space on a drive (guided partitioning).
-This is recommended for new users or anyone in a hurry. If you do not want
-to autopartition, choose <guimenuitem>Manual</guimenuitem> from the menu.
+free space on a drive (see <xref linkend="partman-auto" />). This is
+recommended for new users or anyone in a hurry. If you do not want to
+autopartition, choose <guimenuitem>Manual</guimenuitem> from the menu.
FJP: Please avoid reformatting lines you do not change (the last 2).
That helps make the actual changes clearer for translators who
do not use PO files.
-<xref linkend="partitioning" /> has more information about partitioning.
+<xref linkend="partitioning" /> has more information about partitioning and
+<xref linkend="partman-manual" /> more details on how to use the partitioner.
FJP: s/more/has more/
Maybe make this last sentence a separate para?
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