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Proposed Apache License -- NOTICE section




      (b) You must retain, in the source code of any Derivative Work
          that You distribute, all copyright, patent, or trademark
          notices from the source code of the Work, excluding those
          notices that only pertain to portions of the Work that have
          been excluded from the Derivative Work. If the Work includes a
          "NOTICE" file as part of its source code distribution, the
          Derivative Work must include a readable copy of the notices
          contained within that NOTICE file, excluding those notices
          that only pertain to portions of the Work that have been
          excluded from the Derivative Work, in at least one of the
          following places: within a NOTICE file distributed as part of
          the Derivative Work; within the source code or documentation,
          if provided along with the Derivative Work; or, within a
          display generated by the Derivative Work, if and wherever such
          third-party notices normally appear. You may add Your own
          notices alongside or as an addendum to the original NOTICE
          information. The contents of the NOTICE file are for
          informational purposes only and do not modify the terms and
          conditions of this License.
Apart from any other issues with this section, what if the Work contains notices which *never* pertained to the Work? This sort of thing happens! 


        contained within that NOTICE file, excluding those notices
          that only pertain to portions of the Work that have been
          excluded from the Derivative Work, in at least one of the


They can't be removed via this clause because they don't pertain to "portions of
the Work that have been excluded from the Derivative Work".

Consider a rewrite, in both places where this phrase occurs, to
", excluding those notices that do not pertain to any part of the Derivative Work."

Thanks.

--Nathanael Nerode
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