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Re: New version of nm-step2



Hi, Thanks but I have slightly different thought on this <h4> section.

Let me start off with some non-essential clarification.

On Mon, Aug 18, 2003 at 12:50:45AM +0100, Andrew Suffield wrote:
> Boo, missed one while proofreading too late at night. I wonder how
> many more are hiding in there.
> 
> On Mon, Aug 18, 2003 at 04:58:17AM +0200, Osamu Aoki wrote:
> > I am Japanese who typically has no sense for tense and plurals :-)
>        ^^^^^^^^ ^^^           ^^^
> <cough> Those plurals don't match, and it's a syntax error to boot;
> "who" is attached to "Japanese", but "Japanese" isn't a noun - so you
> can add the adjective/noun distinction to your list :P

Hahaha... When I started to write this sentence, I used "Japanese" in
adjective context.  Then I drifted and treated it like singular noun.  

> (I'm guessing this is the result of translating "Nihonjin" as
> "Japanese", which is wrong; it really needs to be "Japanese person"

Not exactly...

>  From Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913) [web1913]:
>   Japanese \Jap`a*nese"\, n. sing. & pl.
>      1. A native or inhabitant of Japan; collectively, the people
>         of Japan.
>      ...

I was thinking of this.  I needed "a" before "Japanese" if I wanted to
use its noun form, I guess.  But it is still screed up sentence.
Anyway, I made a perfect example of my grammatical skills :-P

Most of half-ass educated foreigners grammatical mistakes come from their
lack of attention and over correction.  

Let's think about real contents.

> This would be better alone, but doesn't fit with the rest of the
> sentence:
> 
> "As a last resort, if you don't receive any offers for a few weeks
> after registering, you can send e-mail to"
> 
> Here, "don't receive any offers for a few weeks" would imply that
> after a few weeks, you *do* receive some offers.
> 
> I'd go with "haven't received". Inevitably, then the sentence doesn't
> flow very well, so we shuffle it around a bit like this (and fix
> another bug in the parenthesised expression at the end):
> 
> "A few weeks after registering, if you still haven't received any
> offers, then you can send e-mail to <email gpg-coord@nm.debian.org>
> telling them precisely where you live (give the names of some big
> cities close to you)."

When ever there is a complex explanation for a simple thing like this,
we should look into the logic structure of the whole process before
tweaking wordings of each to make it look good and smooth.

Let's get this simplified.

There are few approaches to get one's GPG key signed.

  1.  Passive action by looking for GPG signing party information.  If
      found one you can attend, go there to get GPG key signed.
  2.  Active search for willing victims (GPG coordination page). Contact
      by mail.
  3.  Brute search for victims by location such as coordinate or city name.
      ...
  4.  Think other creative but quiet ways and try them. ...
  5.  Cry out loud to mailing list (after checking with AM).
  6.  Discuss with NM-front desk for alternatives.

I think "How to get your GPG key signed" should consists of <ol> of
above items with nicely styled English words with much detailed
explanation(s).  I do not like current logic structure which uses
paragraphs and <ul> in a mixed way.

I think that the less we rely on subtle wordings, the more accurate we
get across all translated forms.

Just my thoughts.

Osamu



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