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I can't figure it out

I've posted 5,000 messages on this list about how to hook up my 
refrigerator to my ancient 386sx computer with 512k of ram.  I don't 
understand why I keep posting and everybody gets mad.  I say I use debian 
but I admit I cheat a little and install some other crap and I'm not gonna 
tell you what unless you drag it out of me.

Can anybody yhelp fix it?

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