Re: Very OT (and probably politically incorrect) - trivial programming language
On 2004-05-31, Steve Lamb penned:
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> richard lyons wrote:
>> My remark was intended to friendly and appreciative -- and came with
>> an apology for interfering.
>
> What your intent was doesn't matter. Do you walk up to strange
> women on the street, pat them on the head and tell them they'd be
> better off out of their business suit and knocked up? Hell no.
> PAtronizing, rude and uncalled for even if you might consider it
> "friendly and appreciative."
I appreciate your attempt to shield me from patronizing behavior. I
think you've drawn your net a little too widely in this case, though.
Honestly, I'm just about the most sensitive person in the universe when
it comes to sexism and whatnot, and it didn't come across that way to
me. For one thing, it's not clear to me that Richard wouldn't have said
the same thing to a man, were that man to state that he didn't want
children.
I find myself in a weird position here, because there are plenty of
times when I wished one of the guys in some group of mine would have
spoken up against a statement. The guys in my college crowd talking
about being "raped" by some test. The guys in my EverQuest guild
talking about ... well, just about every conversation topic I ever
logged in to. Every time a guy has ever suggested that my or some other
woman's behavior was due to hormones and therefore readily dismissed.
The list goes on, believe me; it goes on.
(At my most recent performance review, I got a slight jibe about being
opinionated about technical matters, and how that might rub some people
the wrong way. Funny thing; when I started out on the team, I was
warned in advance by my team lead that everyone on the team is loud and
opinionated, and that I'd have to get used to it. So I have to wonder;
is being technically opinionated only bad when you're female? But I
can't let it bother me too much. It sucks, though, to suddenly be
wondering if voicing my concerns about an architecture is going to get
me in trouble.)
If Richard had said that it's my duty to have babies, or that I'm a
[nasty word] for not wanting to have kids, or whatever, I would be
behind you 100%. But that's not what he said, and it's not how I
interpreted it.
>
>> Unlike yours.
>
> Sorry for reacting to your unsolicited tripe's stench in such a
> negative matter. Next time I'll be sure to spray first.
>
--
monique
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