Re: VIRUS-WARNING (MEGAWICHTIG!!!) (he-he!)
If you receive an e-mail with a subject of "Badtimes," delete it
immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is the most dangerous Email virus
yet. It will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will
scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will
recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream
goes melty. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards,
mess up the tracking on your VCR and use subspace field harmonics to
scratch any CD's you try to play. It will give your
ex-boyfriend/girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix Kool-aid
into your fishtank. It will drink all your Pepsi and leave its socks
out on the coffee table when there's company coming over. It will put
a dead kitten in the back pocket of your good suit pants and hide your
car keys when you are late for work.
Badtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will give you
nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour sugar in your gas tank
and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your current
boyfriend/girlfriend behind your back and billing the dinner and hotel
room to your Visa card. It will seduce your grandmother. It does not
matter if she is dead, such is the power of Badtimes, it reaches out
beyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear. It moves
your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it. It will
kick your dog. It will leave libidinous messages on your boss's voice
mail in your voice! It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and
terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet
seat up. It will make a batch of Methamphetamine in your bathtub and
then leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase
gradeschoolers with your new snowblower. These are just a few
signs... be very careful!
Jens Faust wrote:
> *********************************************************************************
> MEGAWICHTIG - MEGAWICHTIG - MEGAWICHTIG - MEGAWICHTIG - MEGAWICHTIG - MEGAWICHTIG
> *********************************************************************************
>
> >> > > >>>>>FYI
> >> > > >>>>>Important Notice
> >> > > >>>
> >> > > >>>>WARNING! If you receive an e-mail titled, "JOIN THE CREW", do not
> >> > open
> >> > > >it!
> >> > > >>>
> >> > > >>>> It will erase EVERYTHING on your hard drive. Send this letter out
> >> > to
> >> > > as
[ paranoid raving deleted ]
--
Jens B. Jorgensen
jjorgens@bdsinc.com
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