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[Debian]: Fake: Quantum, Seagate, and IBM sponsor the Debian project


nicht ernst nehmen, amüsieren und weitergeben ;-))

----- Forwarded message from editor@segfault.org -----

Date: 6 Jul 1999 13:48:06 -0000
From: xxxxxx@xxxfault.org
To: latest@xxxfault.org
Subject: [LATEST] Quantum, Seagate, and IBM sponsor the Debian project
Reply-To: xxxxxx@xxxfault.org

Quantum, Seagate, and IBM sponsor the Debian project

   Straight from the department of Fake News
   In several press releases issued today, three major hard drive
   manufacturers announced their plans to supply servers, money, and
   software packagers to the Debian project. "This is even better than
   Windows 2000, but now there's no need for waiting! Many people are
   downloading Debian GNU/Linux, but no one has time to go through all of
   the packages and choose which ones they want. And the most natural
   reaction is to install everything. This will cause a massive upsurge
   in the demand for hard drives if Debian's growth continues," an IBM
   spokesperson told Segfault.
   Debian GNU/Linux is known for its vast size and willingness to accept
   any package into the distribution that complies with its licensing
   guidelines. Part of the deals with these three hard drive
   manufacturers include the corperations assigning full-time employees
   to generating new Debian packages to add to the distribution. Of
   course, these will all be free. IBM said in its press release that it
   would be licensing all of its upcoming Linux software under the GPL in
   order to add a few hundred more megabytes of cruft to the main Debian
   In return, Debian will be replacing the "No space available on device"
   message, a common sight while doing an installation, with an
   advertisement for a random one of these hard drive manufacturers.
   Debian will require that these companies make all geometry information
   and interface specifications for their drives publicly available. The
   Debian project will unconditionally accept patches from any of these
   companies to the IDE and SCSI subsections of the kernel. Segfault has
   already obtained the initial set of patches from a source who prefers
   to remain anonymous. These patches are far too lengthly to post here,
   but Segfault's carefully trained code monkeys did notice lines
   containing the words Maxtor, Western_Digital, and Conner used in if
   statements - All with the comment /* DIE */ just after the opening of
   the if statement.
   Quantum is seeking to ship the Debian distribution on IDE hard disks.
   "We feel like we can help those who want to try Debian but either have
   a connection slower than an OC-3 or don't want to install from 10
   DVD-roms," a spokesperson from Quantum told Segfault. The Debian
   project told us that Quantum will begin maintaining the new default
   apt mode: "Install from Quantum hard drive". Quantum will also
   preinstall Debian GNU/Linux on selected drives, but rumor has it that
   there will be 100 bytes of free space on the drive and the customer
   will be urged to buy another Quantum hard drive to use for files,
   data, and new applications.
   Seagate told Segfault that they would be focusing on the Linux server
   market. Seagate will ship spare drives for a RAID system in case the
   nightly distribution update overflows the drives that are on-line.
   Seagate will be making high-speed, reliable SCSI code patches for the
   Linux kernel which will become standard in the Debian distribution's
   default kernel. But rumor has it that you run a risk of corrupting
   other brands of drives with it.
   Written by Aaron Lehmann <[1]aaronl@xxxxxx.com>
----- End forwarded message -----

_ciao, Jens_______________________________ http://www.pinguin.conetix.de

Anyone comfortable with using Linux shall use it. | "I'm afraid Linux has a 
Anyone wanting to tell other people what they     |  year-429496 problem"
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