Re: [DRAFT FOR REVIEW] Steve McIntyre elected Debian Project Leader 2008
On Apr 14, 2008, at 04:09 , AndreMachado wrote:
Please review the newest and improved version .
A few suggestions:
* join and slightly reword the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs:
"The details of the results shall soon be up at the election page as
per the results announcement email. You can read all three DPL 2008
candidate platforms at the election page."
* 4th paragraph: s/enabled to vote developers/developers eligible to
* 5th paragraph: s/can not/cannot/ (this is not actually a mistake,
but "cannot" is by far the more common form)
* 5th paragraph: s/i in the long term. And those with/in the long run.
* 6th paragraph: s/since 1993 able to stablish/since 1993, which is
able to establish/
* 7th paragraph: s/1993, Debian/1993, the Debian/
Towards the end of the text you have several instances of a whitespace
before a comma (for example: "Fabrizio Ferraro , General Management
Professor"). You should remove those whitespace characters (for
example: "Fabrizio Ferraro, General Management Professor").
My apologies if I'm being too picky :)