[Date Prev][Date Next] [Thread Prev][Thread Next] [Date Index] [Thread Index]

Re: [DRAFT FOR REVIEW] Steve McIntyre elected Debian Project Leader 2008



On Apr 14, 2008, at 04:09 , AndreMachado wrote:

Please review the newest and improved version [0].

A few suggestions:

* join and slightly reword the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs:

"The details of the results shall soon be up at the election page as per the results announcement email. You can read all three DPL 2008 candidate platforms at the election page."

* 4th paragraph: s/enabled to vote developers/developers eligible to vote/

* 5th paragraph: s/can not/cannot/ (this is not actually a mistake, but "cannot" is by far the more common form)

* 5th paragraph: s/i in the long term. And those with/in the long run. Those with/

* 6th paragraph: s/since 1993 able to stablish/since 1993, which is able to establish/

* 7th paragraph: s/1993, Debian/1993, the Debian/

Towards the end of the text you have several instances of a whitespace before a comma (for example: "Fabrizio Ferraro , General Management Professor"). You should remove those whitespace characters (for example: "Fabrizio Ferraro, General Management Professor").

My apologies if I'm being too picky :)

Cheers,
-- Alex


Reply to: