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Re: First draft (was Re: we need a release announcement -- soon [source material])

>>>>> "Chris" == Chris Lawrence <lawrencc@debian.org> writes:

Great work, Chris... though still I felt free to give my EUR 0.02... ;-)

    Chris>    The Debian Project is pleased to announce the latest release of the
    Chris>    Debian GNU/Linux Operating System, version 2.2. This release has been
    Chris>    in production for approximately 18 months, and has been extensively
    Chris>    continuously tested by several thousand developers and end-users;

Kill one of "extensively" or "continuously", or rephrase it.  This way
it sounds horrible.  (I'd strike continuously... people are not used
to this word in press releases ;-)

    Chris>    accordingly, we believe Debian 2.2 is the best-tested Linux
    Chris>    distribution ever.

Could we do with a little less hype?  I'd strike that.

    Chris>    As in previous releases, Debian 2.2 uses our proven dpkg
    Chris>    package manager to provide the most thorough dependency
    Chris>    protection available in Linux distributions.

s/protection/tracking/... anything but protection, basically.  Please. ;-)

    Chris>    We continue to provide the alien package for
    Chris>    installation of packages in other formats, but you'll
    Chris>    rarely need it; we have installers available for many
    Chris>    third-party packages that we don't distribute.

Is this necessary?  I mean, should we be short and to the point,
namely, what's changed?  I'd strike that... or at least strike the
"you'll rarely need it".  I think we should really try to not try to
out-hype the other `vendors'.

    Chris>    Perhaps the most significant change in Debian 2.2 is our
    Chris>    transition to version 2.1.2 of the GNU C Library (also
    Chris>    known as libc 6.1). Debian 2.2 also includes the latest
    Chris>    stable Linux kernel (2.2.16), updated with Alan Cox's
    Chris>    patches expected to go into 2.2.17.

There's no 2.2.16 package anywhere, and the 2.2.17 looks confusingly
like... well, 2.2.17.  So, mention 2.2.17-pre<whatever> explicitly.
People might be confused?  Well, I'd rather `confuse' people with the
truth than with half- or non-truths.

Suggested rewording: "includes the latest *stable* Linux kernel

<rant>Can you tell that I don't like this -pre<anything> stuff?  How
come we do 2.2.17-pre*, but not (for example), gtk-1.2.8?  Principles
are good, but you can overdo it.</rant>


    Chris>    Debian 2.2 includes over 1200 new packages of software; in addition,
    Chris>    nearly 800 existing packages have been updated since Debian 2.1. Some
    Chris>    of the most significant changes are:
    Chris>      * New packages:
    Chris>           + reportbug - A tool to report problems in the first place.

How about: "A command-line bug-reporting tool with a nice interface,
written in Python."  Python, yay! ;-)

    Chris>           + logrotate - A log rotation tool, developed by Red Hat
    Chris>             Software.

Uhm, not something most users *need*... I've used it, but 95% of all
users out there will probably never touch it.  Strike it.

    Chris>           + gnome-napster, gnapster, gnap - Three Napster implementations
    Chris>             for all your RIAA-defying needs.

Well, this spoils the tone used until now... this sounds to haX0r-ish
for the generally serious document.  Strike (at least) that
"RIAA-defying"... could even be the RIAA doesn't like it, and I'd
rather not try to get into their sights.

    Chris>           + GTK+/GLib 1.2.7 - The free widget set

Too bad there's already 1.2.8... this already makes us look
bad. *sigh*


    Chris>    Debian 2.2 also includes support for two new architectures, PowerPC
    Chris>    and ARM; with this addition, Debian now runs on six architectures,
    Chris>    more than any other Linux distribution.

Replace "runs on" with "supports".  We should be careful to emphasize
that Debian *supports* those, as, for example, RedHat also "runs on"
68K (right?), but it is not officially supported.  Debian is the only
Distribution where *all* available platforms are treated equally.


    Chris>    As with previous releases, we expect upgrades from any
    Chris>    Debian release to work without problems.

As has already been mentioned somewhere else, we should make people
expect that this "from *any*" will work for all future releases too.
So, if you strike that "As with previous releases", then it would be
ok (I think).

    Chris>    Administrators will appreciate the widespread of the Pluggable

You want to say "widespreadness", right?  But I doubt this is a
word... hmm, how to rephrase that?  Think... think... "Wide use"!!!
'S that ok?

Or did you just forget "use" after "widespread"?  ;-)


    Chris>    Perhaps the most interesting social change since Debian

"Social change"?  Strike "social".  Or use... I don't know, maybe
"societal".  Or is my English *that* bad? ;-) I'd simply strike

    Chris>    2.1 has been the adoption of the Debian system as a
    Chris>    basis for commercial Linux distributions. Corel, Stormix
    Chris>    Technologies, and VA Linux Systems are among the
    Chris>    companies that currently distribute distributions based

*argh*... "deliver", "sell", "deploy"... but not "distribute
 distributions".  Or replace "distributions" with "versions" or s.th.

(I've just used "dict" to look up synonyms of "distribute"... but
"dole out" is not good for this context, right?  ;-)

    Chris>    on Debian; others are on the horizon. What remains the
    Chris>    same, however, is the project's volunteer base, its
    Chris>    dedication to the [2]Debian Social Contract, and its
    Chris>    commitment to provide the best operating system
    Chris>    possible. We think Debian 2.2 is an important step in
    Chris>    that direction.

Great finale to a great (minus my comments ;-) document.  Again,
thanks, Chris.

Bye, J

Jürgen A. Erhard      eMail: jae@ilk.de      phone: (GERMANY) 0721 27326
     MARS: http://members.tripod.com/Juergen_Erhard/mars_index.html
             Internet Movie Database (http://www.imdb.com)
         I have a firm grip on reality, now I can strangle it.

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