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Re: release update: security problems force "etch" delay of 4-6 weeks

On Sat, 31 Mar 2007, Debian release team wrote:

That was the good news. Unfortunately, there is also the bad side:
due to several grave security problems in some of the core packages,
we cannot release "etch" as originally planned[0] on 2 Apr 2007. By
rough calculation, we are looking at another 4-6 weeks of work to
get our archive into a releasable state.

Haha nice one but I think we can let them in on the truth now guys.

Hello Debian developers,

You probably thought the message quoted above was the traditional Debian April Fools joke but in fact it was the last stage in an elaborate deception designed to lull you into overlooking the fact that Debian 4.0 "Etch" was actually released on March 22, 2006, three days after I was voted DPL by the CEOs of Canonical, Linspire, and Xandros.

Keeping you in the dark about this was a fun but arduous task. I would not have succeeded without the support of a very special team.

Horst Teppert in the double role of Sven "red" Luther and Frans "blue" Pop. Herr Teppert, I know computing was an unfamiliar area for you but you really dove into the part with gusto. You went even further beyond the call of duty when you took over the role of Anthony "aj" Towns after Kims freak jetski accident at OLS.

Kimberly Davies, we love you baby. Remember stem cell research is advancing every day!

Joerg "Ganneff" Jaspert, Steve "vorlon" Langasek and the rest of the webmin maintenance team for your convincing release manager impersonations. You even almost had me fooled for a minute!

Junta de Extramadura. The use of your private jet really eased the coordination process. Gracias!

...and a cast of literally thousands.

Only Jonathan "Ted" Walther came close to discovering the truth and therefore had to be...eliminated. But I'm sure he is in Aryan Heaven laughing along with us and each of his widows will be receiving an autographed copy of "Debian 3.1 Bible" and my sincere regrets.

Well that's it for now. In my next email I'll tell you about the indemnity agreement we signed last week with Microso...well I've said too much. Bye bye now!

Jaldhar "jaldhar" H. Vyas <jaldhar@debian.org>
La Salle Debain - http://www.braincells.com/debian/

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