Re: new Debian homepage: request for review
Thomas Lange wrote:
> git checkout new-homepage
Thanks! Simple once I know it, as usual.
Here are some nitpicks on the particular files you mentioned; patch
attached,
diff --git a/english/index.wml b/english/index.wml
index f6babb83e76..9cc03cccba7 100644
--- a/english/index.wml
+++ b/english/index.wml
@@ -50,7 +50,7 @@
<article>
<div class="info top-left">
- <h3>Debian alike Swiss Knife</h3>
+ <h3>Debian is like a Swiss Knife</h3>
</div>
<img src="Pics/debian-swiss-knife-hands-1024x576.jpg"
alt="Debian is like a Swiss Knife" />
I'm not sure exactly what the caption was trying to say, but I've made
it match the alt text.
@@ -58,10 +58,10 @@
<article>
<div class="info top-left">
- <h3>People have Fun</h3>
+ <h3>People have fun</h3>
</div>
<img src="Pics/debian-funny-people-1024x576.jpg"
- alt="Debian people while Debconf18 in Hsinchu having really fun"/>
+ alt="Debian people at Debconf18 in Hsinchu really having fun"/>
</article>
</div> <!-- .inner -->
</div> <!-- .slider-wrapper -->
Inconsistent capitalisation (I'll standardise H3s towards
sentence-case), and ungrammatical alt text.
@@ -111,7 +111,7 @@
<a href="devel/join/"><img src="logos/programming.png"></a>
</div>
<div class="styled-href-blue column-4-parts">
- <h2><a href="devel/join/">Get involved, Contribute</a></h2>
+ <h2><a href="devel/join/">Get Involved, Contribute</a></h2>
<p>You can be part of this!</p>
</div>
</div>
I mentioned this; I'm not making H2s consistently follow the standard
rules of English titlecase (because most readers won't care), but it
does feel as if the word "Involved" deserves equal status here.
@@ -121,7 +121,7 @@
</div>
<div class="styled-href-blue column-4-parts">
<h2><a href="more#community">More...</a></h2>
- <p>Additional information around the Debian community</p>
+ <p>Additional information about the Debian community</p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
"Around" doesn't work; if I'm interpreting the intended meaning
correctly, it wants "about".
Next file:
diff --git a/english/more.wml b/english/more.wml
index 4e1a905c1dc..dd606b1ddde 100644
--- a/english/more.wml
+++ b/english/more.wml
@@ -71,8 +71,8 @@
<a href="../distrib/packages"> Software packages:</a>
Search and browse the long list of our software
</li>
- <li
- ><a href="../doc"> Documentation</a>
+ <li>
+ <a href="../doc"> Documentation</a>
</li>
Something odd had happened to the anglebrackets.
<li>
<a href="https://wiki.debian.org";> Debian wiki</a>
@@ -90,7 +90,7 @@
</li>
<li>
<a href="../devel"> Developers' Corner:</a>
- Information primarily be of interest to Debian developers
+ Information primarily of interest to Debian developers
</li>
<li>
<a href="../ports"> Ports/Architectures:</a>
Superfluous word.
Third file:
diff --git a/english/intro/why_debian.wml b/english/intro/why_debian.wml
index a2540a0ae81..8a1d4aba09d 100644
--- a/english/intro/why_debian.wml
+++ b/english/intro/why_debian.wml
@@ -2,7 +2,7 @@
There are a lot of reasons why users choose Debian as their operating system.
-<h1>Major reasons</h1>
+<h1>Major Reasons</h1>
# try to list reasons for end users first
In contrast to H2s and H3s I've standardised the H1s towards titlecase.
@@ -30,7 +30,7 @@ There are a lot of reasons why users choose Debian as their operating system.
<dt><strong>Debian has extensive hardware support.</strong></dt>
<dd>
Most hardware is already supported by the Linux kernel. Proprietary drivers
- for hardware are available when the free software are not sufficient.
+ for hardware are available when the free software is not sufficient.
</dd>
</dl>
Beware the "-ware": mass nouns are always singular.
@@ -45,10 +45,10 @@ There are a lot of reasons why users choose Debian as their operating system.
<dl>
<dt><strong>Debian is the seed and base for many other distributions.</strong></dt>
<dd>
- Many of the most popular Linux distributions like Ubuntu, Knoppix, PureOS,
- SteamOS or Tails choose Debian as a base for their software.
+ Many of the most popular Linux distributions, like Ubuntu, Knoppix, PureOS,
+ SteamOS or Tails, choose Debian as a base for their software.
Debian is providing all the tools so everyone can extend the software
- packages from the Debian archive with own packages for their needs.
+ packages from the Debian archive with their own packages for their needs.
</dd>
</dl>
Adding a comma to avoid saying "everybody likes Ubuntu".
"Own" is a messed-up sort of adjective and always needs the support of
a possessive.
@@ -60,9 +60,9 @@ There are a lot of reasons why users choose Debian as their operating system.
Debian community even if you are not a programmer or sysadmin. Debian is
community and consensus driven and has a
<a href="../devel/constitution">democratic governance structure</a>.
- Since all Debian developers have equal rights it can not be controlled by
+ Since all Debian developers have equal rights it cannot be controlled by
a single company. We have developers in more than 60 countries and support
- translations for our debian installer in more than 80 languages.</p>
+ translations for our Debian Installer in more than 80 languages.</p>
</dd>
</dl>
"Can not" is rare outside contexts like "I can drink it or I can not
drink it" (where it doesn't mean the same thing).
I'm not sure why "Debian Installer" was lowercase.
@@ -80,7 +80,7 @@ There are a lot of reasons why users choose Debian as their operating system.
<br>
-<h1>Enterprise environment</h1>
+<h1>Enterprise Environment</h1>
<p>
If you need Debian in a professional environment, you may enjoy these
Titlecase H1s.
@@ -90,7 +90,7 @@ There are a lot of reasons why users choose Debian as their operating system.
<dl>
<dt><strong>Debian is reliable.</strong></dt>
<dd>
- Debian has a proves it's reliability every day in thousands of real world
+ Debian proves its reliability every day in thousands of real world
scenarios ranging from a single user laptop up to super colliders, stock
exchanges and the automotive industry. It's also popular in the academic
world, in science and the public sector.
Fix whatever happened here.
@@ -101,7 +101,7 @@ There are a lot of reasons why users choose Debian as their operating system.
<dt><strong>Debian has many experts.</strong></dt>
<dd>
Our package maintainers do not only take care of the Debian packaging and
- incorporation new upstream versions. Often they're experts for the upstream
+ incorporating new upstream versions. Often they're experts in the upstream
software and contribute to upstream development directly. Sometimes they
are also part of upstream.
</dd>
Expertise is "in" things.
@@ -121,7 +121,7 @@ There are a lot of reasons why users choose Debian as their operating system.
There's <a href="https://wiki.debian.org/LTS";>Long Term Support</a>
(LTS) at no charge. This brings you extended support for the stable
release for 5 years and more. Besides there's also the
- <a href="https://wiki.debian.org/LTS/Extended";>LTS Extended</a> initiative
+ <a href="https://wiki.debian.org/LTS/Extended";>Extended LTS</a> initiative
that extends supports for a limited set of packages for more than 5 years.
</dd>
</dl>
The Wiki page may be /LTS/Extended, but it's about Extended LTS.
@@ -130,7 +130,7 @@ There are a lot of reasons why users choose Debian as their operating system.
<dt><strong>Cloud images.</strong></dt>
<dd>
Official cloud images are available for all major cloud platforms. We also
- provide the tools and configuration, so you can build your own customized
+ provide the tools and configuration so you can build your own customized
cloud image. You can also use Debian in virtual machines on the desktop or
in a container.
</dd>
Drop a comma to make it clear that "tools so you can..." is all one
thing.
@@ -139,12 +139,12 @@ There are a lot of reasons why users choose Debian as their operating system.
<br>
<h1>Developers</h1>
-<p>Debian is widely used by any kind of software and hardware developers.</p>
+<p>Debian is widely used by every kind of software and hardware developers.</p>
"Any" doesn't work here.
<dl>
<dt><strong>Public available bug tracking system.</strong></dt>
<dd>
- Our Debian <a href="../Bugs">Bug tracking system</a> (BTS) is public
+ Our Debian <a href="../Bugs">Bug tracking system</a> (BTS) is publicly
available for everybody via a web browser. We do not hide our software
bugs and you can easily submit new bug reports.
</dd>
Yes, that looks wrong (it's "cyclic/cyclically", so surely it should
be "public/publically"?), but no, it's just irregular.
@@ -153,7 +153,7 @@ There are a lot of reasons why users choose Debian as their operating system.
<dl>
<dt><strong>IoT and embedded devices.</strong></dt>
<dd>
- We support a wide range of devices like the Raspberry, variants of QNAP,
+ We support a wide range of devices like the Raspberry Pi, variants of QNAP,
mobile devices, home routers and a lot of Single Board Computers (SBC).
</dd>
</dl>
You can't install Debian on an actual raspberry (yet).
I have no idea what a QNAP is, and when I google it, it seems to me
that it would be clearer to talk about NAS devices. Oh, and wait,
isn't the RPi itself an SBC? Why even mention the abbreviation "SBC"
when we've already used the expanded version? I would suggest saying
something more like
We support a wide range of devices, including mobile phones, home
routers, NAS devices, and Single Board Computers like the Raspberry Pi.
(but this isn't in my diff.)
@@ -169,18 +169,18 @@ There are a lot of reasons why users choose Debian as their operating system.
</dl>
<dl>
- <dt><strong>Huge amount of software packages available.</strong></dt>
+ <dt><strong>Huge number of software packages available.</strong></dt>
<dd>
It's a "huge amount of (packaged) software", but a "huge number of
(software) packages".
Debian has the largest number of installed packages available
- (currently 59000). We use the well know deb format for our packages
- which is know for its quality.
+ (currently 59000). Our packages use the deb format which is well
+ known for its high quality.
</dd>
</dl>
Rephrased to avoid a double dose of the same error.
<dl>
<dt><strong>Different choices of releases.</strong></dt>
<dd>
- Besides our stable release, you get the newest version of software
+ Besides our stable release, you get the newest versions of software
by using the testing or unstable releases.
</dd>
</dl>
English may treat it as a single big unenumerable blob of software,
but it still contains lots of different version numbers.
@@ -188,7 +188,7 @@ There are a lot of reasons why users choose Debian as their operating system.
<dl>
<dt><strong>High quality with the help of developer tools and policy.</strong></dt>
<dd>
- Several developers tools help to keep the quality on a high standard and
+ Several developer tools help to keep the quality to a high standard and
our <a href="../doc/debian-policy/">policy</a> defines the technical
requirements that each package must satisfy to be included in the
distribution. Our continuous integration is running the autopkgtest
"Developers tools" would need an apostrophe somewhere; for consistency
with the header, treat it as a nounpile.
We're keeping the quality (up) to a standard.
--
JBR with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package
diff --git a/english/index.wml b/english/index.wml
index f6babb83e76..9cc03cccba7 100644
--- a/english/index.wml
+++ b/english/index.wml
@@ -50,7 +50,7 @@
<article>
<div class="info top-left">
- <h3>Debian alike Swiss Knife</h3>
+ <h3>Debian is like a Swiss Knife</h3>
</div>
<img src="Pics/debian-swiss-knife-hands-1024x576.jpg"
alt="Debian is like a Swiss Knife" />
@@ -58,10 +58,10 @@
<article>
<div class="info top-left">
- <h3>People have Fun</h3>
+ <h3>People have fun</h3>
</div>
<img src="Pics/debian-funny-people-1024x576.jpg"
- alt="Debian people while Debconf18 in Hsinchu having really fun"/>
+ alt="Debian people at Debconf18 in Hsinchu really having fun"/>
</article>
</div> <!-- .inner -->
</div> <!-- .slider-wrapper -->
@@ -111,7 +111,7 @@
<a href="devel/join/"><img src="logos/programming.png"></a>
</div>
<div class="styled-href-blue column-4-parts">
- <h2><a href="devel/join/">Get involved, Contribute</a></h2>
+ <h2><a href="devel/join/">Get Involved, Contribute</a></h2>
<p>You can be part of this!</p>
</div>
</div>
@@ -121,7 +121,7 @@
</div>
<div class="styled-href-blue column-4-parts">
<h2><a href="more#community">More...</a></h2>
- <p>Additional information around the Debian community</p>
+ <p>Additional information about the Debian community</p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
diff --git a/english/intro/why_debian.wml b/english/intro/why_debian.wml
index a2540a0ae81..3ffb541e4aa 100644
--- a/english/intro/why_debian.wml
+++ b/english/intro/why_debian.wml
@@ -2,7 +2,7 @@
There are a lot of reasons why users choose Debian as their operating system.
-<h1>Major reasons</h1>
+<h1>Major Reasons</h1>
# try to list reasons for end users first
@@ -30,7 +30,7 @@ There are a lot of reasons why users choose Debian as their operating system.
<dt><strong>Debian has extensive hardware support.</strong></dt>
<dd>
Most hardware is already supported by the Linux kernel. Proprietary drivers
- for hardware are available when the free software are not sufficient.
+ for hardware are available when the free software is not sufficient.
</dd>
</dl>
@@ -45,10 +45,10 @@ There are a lot of reasons why users choose Debian as their operating system.
<dl>
<dt><strong>Debian is the seed and base for many other distributions.</strong></dt>
<dd>
- Many of the most popular Linux distributions like Ubuntu, Knoppix, PureOS,
- SteamOS or Tails choose Debian as a base for their software.
+ Many of the most popular Linux distributions, like Ubuntu, Knoppix, PureOS,
+ SteamOS or Tails, choose Debian as a base for their software.
Debian is providing all the tools so everyone can extend the software
- packages from the Debian archive with own packages for their needs.
+ packages from the Debian archive with their own packages for their needs.
</dd>
</dl>
@@ -60,9 +60,9 @@ There are a lot of reasons why users choose Debian as their operating system.
Debian community even if you are not a programmer or sysadmin. Debian is
community and consensus driven and has a
<a href="../devel/constitution">democratic governance structure</a>.
- Since all Debian developers have equal rights it can not be controlled by
+ Since all Debian developers have equal rights it cannot be controlled by
a single company. We have developers in more than 60 countries and support
- translations for our debian installer in more than 80 languages.</p>
+ translations for our Debian Installer in more than 80 languages.</p>
</dd>
</dl>
@@ -80,7 +80,7 @@ There are a lot of reasons why users choose Debian as their operating system.
<br>
-<h1>Enterprise environment</h1>
+<h1>Enterprise Environment</h1>
<p>
If you need Debian in a professional environment, you may enjoy these
@@ -90,7 +90,7 @@ There are a lot of reasons why users choose Debian as their operating system.
<dl>
<dt><strong>Debian is reliable.</strong></dt>
<dd>
- Debian has a proves it's reliability every day in thousands of real world
+ Debian proves its reliability every day in thousands of real world
scenarios ranging from a single user laptop up to super colliders, stock
exchanges and the automotive industry. It's also popular in the academic
world, in science and the public sector.
@@ -101,7 +101,7 @@ There are a lot of reasons why users choose Debian as their operating system.
<dt><strong>Debian has many experts.</strong></dt>
<dd>
Our package maintainers do not only take care of the Debian packaging and
- incorporation new upstream versions. Often they're experts for the upstream
+ incorporating new upstream versions. Often they're experts in the upstream
software and contribute to upstream development directly. Sometimes they
are also part of upstream.
</dd>
@@ -121,7 +121,7 @@ There are a lot of reasons why users choose Debian as their operating system.
There's <a href="https://wiki.debian.org/LTS";>Long Term Support</a>
(LTS) at no charge. This brings you extended support for the stable
release for 5 years and more. Besides there's also the
- <a href="https://wiki.debian.org/LTS/Extended";>LTS Extended</a> initiative
+ <a href="https://wiki.debian.org/LTS/Extended";>Extended LTS</a> initiative
that extends supports for a limited set of packages for more than 5 years.
</dd>
</dl>
@@ -130,7 +130,7 @@ There are a lot of reasons why users choose Debian as their operating system.
<dt><strong>Cloud images.</strong></dt>
<dd>
Official cloud images are available for all major cloud platforms. We also
- provide the tools and configuration, so you can build your own customized
+ provide the tools and configuration so you can build your own customized
cloud image. You can also use Debian in virtual machines on the desktop or
in a container.
</dd>
@@ -139,12 +139,12 @@ There are a lot of reasons why users choose Debian as their operating system.
<br>
<h1>Developers</h1>
-<p>Debian is widely used by any kind of software and hardware developers.</p>
+<p>Debian is widely used by every kind of software and hardware developers.</p>
<dl>
<dt><strong>Public available bug tracking system.</strong></dt>
<dd>
- Our Debian <a href="../Bugs">Bug tracking system</a> (BTS) is public
+ Our Debian <a href="../Bugs">Bug tracking system</a> (BTS) is publicly
available for everybody via a web browser. We do not hide our software
bugs and you can easily submit new bug reports.
</dd>
@@ -153,7 +153,7 @@ There are a lot of reasons why users choose Debian as their operating system.
<dl>
<dt><strong>IoT and embedded devices.</strong></dt>
<dd>
- We support a wide range of devices like the Raspberry, variants of QNAP,
+ We support a wide range of devices like the Raspberry Pi, variants of QNAP,
mobile devices, home routers and a lot of Single Board Computers (SBC).
</dd>
</dl>
@@ -169,18 +169,18 @@ There are a lot of reasons why users choose Debian as their operating system.
</dl>
<dl>
- <dt><strong>Huge amount of software packages available.</strong></dt>
+ <dt><strong>Huge number of software packages available.</strong></dt>
<dd>
Debian has the largest number of installed packages available
- (currently 59000). We use the well know deb format for our packages
- which is know for its quality.
+ (currently 59000). Our packages use the deb format which is well
+ known for its high quality.
</dd>
</dl>
<dl>
<dt><strong>Different choices of releases.</strong></dt>
<dd>
- Besides our stable release, you get the newest version of software
+ Besides our stable release, you get the newest versions of software
by using the testing or unstable releases.
</dd>
</dl>
@@ -188,7 +188,7 @@ There are a lot of reasons why users choose Debian as their operating system.
<dl>
<dt><strong>High quality with the help of developer tools and policy.</strong></dt>
<dd>
- Several developers tools help to keep the quality on a high standard and
+ Several developer tools help to keep the quality to a high standard and
our <a href="../doc/debian-policy/">policy</a> defines the technical
requirements that each package must satisfy to be included in the
distribution. Our continuous integration is running the autopkgtest
diff --git a/english/more.wml b/english/more.wml
index 4e1a905c1dc..dd606b1ddde 100644
--- a/english/more.wml
+++ b/english/more.wml
@@ -71,8 +71,8 @@
<a href="../distrib/packages"> Software packages:</a>
Search and browse the long list of our software
</li>
- <li
- ><a href="../doc"> Documentation</a>
+ <li>
+ <a href="../doc"> Documentation</a>
</li>
<li>
<a href="https://wiki.debian.org";> Debian wiki</a>
@@ -90,7 +90,7 @@
</li>
<li>
<a href="../devel"> Developers' Corner:</a>
- Information primarily be of interest to Debian developers
+ Information primarily of interest to Debian developers
</li>
<li>
<a href="../ports"> Ports/Architectures:</a>
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