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Re: d-i network configuration for VLAN, new templates review



Christian PERRIER wrote:
> Quoting Dimitri John Ledkov (xnox@debian.org):
>> Template: netcfg/use_vlan
>> Type: boolean
>> Default: false
>> # :sl6:
>> _Description: Are you connected to an IEEE 802.1Q VLAN trunk port?

That's a rather personal question too - fixing it makes the synopsis
awkwardly long, but we can demote the IEEE part to the long
description:

   _Description: Is this system connected to a VLAN trunk port?

>>  Virtual LAN (VLAN) is a concept of partitioning a physical network to create
>>  distinct broadcast domains. Packets can be marked for different IDs by
>>  tagging, so that a single interconnect (trunk) may be used to transport
>>  data for various VLANs.

There's some room for improvements to the English here.  Rehousing the
demoted details:

    IEEE 802.1Q Virtual LANs (VLANs) are a way of partitioning a physical
    network into distinct broadcast domains. Packets can be tagged with
    different VLAN IDs so that a single "trunk" connection may be used to
    transport data for various VLANs.

>>  .
>>  If your network interface is directly connected to a VLAN trunk port,
>>  specifying a VLAN ID may be necessary to get a working connection.
> 
> Just try dropping "your" if possible (what we call
> "unpersonnalization") : s/your/the should be enough
> 
>> Template: netcfg/vlan_id
>> Type: string
>> # :sl6:
>> _Description: VLAN ID (1-4094):
>>  If your network interface is directly connected to a VLAN trunk port,
>>  specifying a VLAN ID may be necessary to get a working connection.
> 
> Ditto.

All agreed.

>> Template: netcfg/vlan_failed
>> Type: error
>> # :sl6:
>> _Description: Error setting up VLAN
>>  The command used to set up VLAN during the installation returned an
>>  error, please check installer logs, or go back and try another
>>  configuration.
> 
> "the" VLAN ? Justin?

In the long description, yes.
 
> Ditto for "the" installer logs?

Borderline, but I'd edit that line anyway to fix the comma-splice.

    The command used to set up the VLAN during the installation returned
    an error. Please check the installer logs, or go back and try another
    configuration.

Patch attached.
-- 
JBR	with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
	sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package
--- netcfg.templates.old	2016-04-15 12:04:44.882916886 +0100
+++ netcfg.templates.new	2016-04-15 12:07:32.790541127 +0100
@@ -2,26 +2,26 @@
 Type: boolean
 Default: false
 # :sl6:
-_Description: Are you connected to an IEEE 802.1Q VLAN trunk port?
- Virtual LAN (VLAN) is a concept of partitioning a physical network to create
- distinct broadcast domains. Packets can be marked for different IDs by
- tagging, so that a single interconnect (trunk) may be used to transport
- data for various VLANs.
+_Description: Is this system connected to a VLAN trunk port?
+ IEEE 802.1Q Virtual LANs (VLANs) are a way of partitioning a physical 
+ network into distinct broadcast domains. Packets can be tagged with
+ different VLAN IDs so that a single "trunk" connection may be used to
+ transport data for various VLANs.
  .
- If your network interface is directly connected to a VLAN trunk port,
+ If the network interface is directly connected to a VLAN trunk port,
  specifying a VLAN ID may be necessary to get a working connection.
 
 Template: netcfg/vlan_id
 Type: string
 # :sl6:
 _Description: VLAN ID (1-4094):
- If your network interface is directly connected to a VLAN trunk port,
+ If the network interface is directly connected to a VLAN trunk port,
  specifying a VLAN ID may be necessary to get a working connection.
 
 Template: netcfg/vlan_failed
 Type: error
 # :sl6:
 _Description: Error setting up VLAN
- The command used to set up VLAN during the installation returned an
- error, please check installer logs, or go back and try another
+ The command used to set up the VLAN during the installation returned
+ an error. Please check the installer logs, or go back and try another
  configuration.

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