Re: Request advice on writing style / review
Aliz 'Randomdude' wrote:
> Template: preseed/accept_preseed_from_DHCP
> Type: boolean
> Default: false
> _Description: Accept a preseed URL from the DHCP server?
> The DHCP server provided extra commands or customisations to
> debian-installer via a preseed file. It is possible that these
> commands were set by the network administrator; however, it is
> impossible to verify this, or to ensure they have not been altered
> by an attacker who already has access to the local network. For
> this reason, you should only accept these customisations if you
> accept the risk they entail.
The first thing I notice is a couple of instances of "customiSation";
I'm an en_GB user myself, but the debconf standard is en_US
"customiZation". Oh, and a surplus space on the Description line.
Is it a URL "from" the DHCP server in the sense that the DHCP server
is also known to be the HTTP server hosting this file, or only in the
sense that the DHCP server is the one offering the URL (which may
point at http://malware.xxx)? As I understand it the situation is
that the DHCP server is offering a URL for a file which may be hosted
on some other server and will presumably contain further preseed
material. Saying that the DHCP server "provided" customisations, past
tense, is a bit off... how about rephrasing it as:
Template: preseed/accept_preseed_from_DHCP
Type: boolean
Default: false
_Description: Accept a preseed URL from the DHCP server?
The DHCP server is offering a URL for a preseed file with extra
commands or customizations to debian-installer. It is possible that
these commands were set by the network administrator; however, it is
impossible to verify this, or to ensure they have not been altered
by an attacker who already has access to the local network. For
this reason, you should only accept these customizations if you
accept the risk they entail.
--
JBR with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package
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