Re: Fw: Re: Patch for consultants/info
> as proposed by taffit: could you guys give me a proofread of attached patch
> please?
Okay:
> Index: info.wml
> ===================================================================
> RCS file: /cvs/webwml/webwml/english/consultants/info.wml,v
> retrieving revision 1.13
> diff -u -r1.13 info.wml
> --- info.wml 6 Jun 2011 19:26:15 -0000 1.13
> +++ info.wml 5 Mar 2013 21:29:01 -0000
> @@ -9,7 +9,15 @@
> <li>Mandatory contact information<br />
> You must provide a working e-mail address and answer e-mails sent to you
> within four weeks at most. In order to prevent abuse any requests (additions,
> - removals or changes) have to be sent from that same address.
> + removals or changes) have to be sent from that same address. To avoid spam,
> + you can request to have your mail address scrambled (e.g.
> + <q>debian *dot* consulting *at* yourcompany *dot* de</q>). Please note it
> + explicitly in your submission, if you prefer this. As another possible
(wishlist:)
"If you prefer this, please note it explicitly in your submission"
> + anti-spam method you can request, that your e-mail address should not be
Un-English use of comma.
"[...] you can request that [...]"
> + visible on the list, but we need a working e-mail address nevertheless for
(wishlist:)
"Alternatively you can also request that your e-mail address should
not be visible on the web page (although we need a working e-mail
address for list maintenance)."
> + maintaining the list. If you want your address to be hidden on the list, you
> + can provide a contact URL instead, which links to a contact web formular on
"Contact web formular" is a bit garbled, and strictly speaking the URL
doesn't link to it. Maybe:
"[...] you can instead provide the URL of a contact form on
your web site for us to link to."
> + your site. <q>Contact</q> is meant to be used for this.
> </li>
> <li>In case you provide a link to a website, that website must have a
> mention of your Debian consulting services. Providing the direct link
I know this isn't part of the change, but that usage of "in case" to
mean "conditionally, if" is best avoided. For many or most native
English speakers (including me), "turn off your PC in case the mouse
explodes" is an idiom meaning "unconditionally, turn off your PC to
prevent the mouse exploding". I would recommend s/In case/If/g.
> @@ -42,8 +50,9 @@
> <h2>Additions, modifications, and removals of entries</h2>
>
> <p>If you wish to be added to the list of consultants, please
> -mail any of the following information in English to
> -<a href="mailto:consultants@debian.org";;>consultants@debian.org</a>:</p>
> +mail any of the following information, you would like to be listed, in English to
> +<a href="mailto:consultants@debian.org";;>consultants@debian.org</a>
> +(e-mail is mandatory, everything else is optional at your discretion):</p>
Bad commas, misused mass-noun "information", odd ordering... maybe:
mail <a href="mailto:consultants@debian.org";;>consultants@debian.org</a>,
in English, providing any of the following pieces of information that you
would like to be listed (e-mail address is mandatory, everything else is
optional at your discretion):</p>
--
JBR - and today's single word in West Greenlandic is:
Angajuqqaaminiissimavuq "He has been at his own parents' place"
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